Harbinger

So 4 weeks ago when i accepted the role at the London office of a large US financial institution, they had said that my first day was due to be today, 28th October 2024. They sent me some requests for documentation like Insurance number, proof of address and some forms to fill in and I was supposed to then get confirmation of start date and what to do and who to ask for on my first day in the office. Instead i got 3 and a half weeks of silence. 

Getting a little worried last week about not having any information or confirmation, i found the email address of the person who interviewed me and sent him a mail just asking him if 28th was still my confirmed start date and what the dress code in the office would be and who i should ask for when i get into the office. I heard nothing back and no confirmation of any details. I figured maybe they have not completed all their pre-employment new starter checks and things have been delayed. no problem at all. that is fine. 

This morning at 8.30am, i get an email from a HR person based in the Philippines confirming my start date is today???. what the fuck!!. I then replied to her who i should ask for at reception and which department i would be working in and where should i go, to which she replied she would find out. 

midday, i get a reply saying there is nobody in the London office from the cloud support team and to just to go into the office and collect my laptop and get my IDs sorted. OK, but its my first day, so WHO THE FUCK SHOULD I ASK FOR WHEN GET TO RECEPTION??!!!. I dont know what chicken shit operation they have in the phillipines or India, but in London you can not just walk in off the street and go to the reception of an office and be handed a pass and just let into an office building to roam around as you please and to pick up random laptops lying around. 

Jaysus!!!, why is this so difficult?!.

This new job has already gotten off to a frustrating start and this first day has been a shitshow. they seem reluctant to give me the most obvious information, so i wonder how forthcoming they will be to give me information related to actually doing the role. if this is a harbinger for the future it does not look good. 

Dont treat new starters like this. confirm their start dates more than half hour before you expect them in the office. have somebody assigned to meet them in the office on the first day and to show them to their desk. this is all basic stuff and they seem to be taken by surprised they i mentioned any of this. Anyway, i am not in the office and at home. 

Did they really think i was just going to turn up to a new office and have reception ask me who i was there to see, and for me to reply 'i dont know', and for reception to ask me which department i was in, and for me to reply 'i dont know', and for reception to ask me which floor i worked on, and for me to reply 'i dont know', and for reception to ask me who my colleagues werre and for to reply 'i dont know'. come on man, i am not going to make a fool of myself on my first day despite the HR and the hiring team having done so already. some of us are professional and have worked in London before. 

It might just be a bad start and it could be a really great company to work for, and in 6 months time i could be really happy and settled, but i really have doubts about it. I give it a 75% chance that i am not there in 6 months. I am planning to leave already. its a joke!. 

call bullshit

so the place that wanted someone who was a network engineer and a devops specialist and a vmware engineer and a windows engineer and a linux engineer and a citrix engineer and someone who would take calls escalated from the helpdesk, have asked to interview me. This interview could either be a shit show or it could turn out that they show some semblance of being reasonable in the skills they are looking for. it dont matter. they money is very good but i also have accepted a job that i am due to start in a weeks time, so whatever happens, i will be OK. 

Just as a bit of prep before my interview at the firm, i did a bit of a linkedin search to see the backgrounds of the people already working at the firm, and one of the profiles stood out. Some guy that graduated 6 years ago, and who was working in IT but also working in a supermarket until 3 years ago suddenly seems to have become a kubernetes and devops and terraform whizz whilst also creating and configuring CI/CD pipelines?????. Nah, sorry, i dont buy it. 

He has also listed 2 basic azure certifications and whilst he has not bothered to post these as approved and verified credentials he has for some reason given the test score????. who gives a fuck about the test score. its a pass or fail thing. Sorry, but i call bullshit on that. his career just dont add up and there is no way you can have accumulated the breadth and depth of experience he claims to have in just 3 years. 

I will go to the interview. i wont bullshit. i know what i have done and dont need to use my vivid imagination to embellish it.   

I have worked in lots of places and worked with lots of talented people. I have also worked with people who thought they were 'the shit', but were actually 'just shit'. after working in nearly 2 dozen firms and with hundreds of people, i think i have developed a good bullshit detector, and its going off loud with this dude. maybe i am wrong but i really doubt it. 

la la land

Until I turn up in the office on the 1st day of my new job, I consider myself to be available so i have still been applying for a few jobs that i have seen. 

I suspect the hedge fund that was offended by my interest in cloud technology is still hiring for the role, nearly 4 months later, and also i saw this job at another hedge fund. 

the spec says they want

infrastructure experience – 2nd / 3rd line support and engineering - Yeah I can do that. 

Great Networking skills – Routing and Switching, Firewalls etc- I am OK, if you want someone great you should hire a network specialist. 

Great server / platform experience (Windows, Linux). Yes, we get it. you want someone 'great' and i can actually support Windows and Linux and that is quite rare. 

Good Azure cloud experience - On-prem to Cloud migrations - I have migrated from on-prem to AWS and migrating to Azure wont be rocket science. 

Strong Virtualisation skills – VMWare, Citrix etc - I have used VMware a lot, but not so much Citrix. again, maybe hire a Citrix specialist if its that important. 

Automation, Containers and Infrastructure as Code knowledge (Terraform, Kubernetes etc) - Yes i have done Terraform and a little bit of kubernetes as well, but i aint no specialist. Maybe hire a DevOps specialist. 

basically they are looking for a Networking expert and a DevOps engineer and a Windows engineer and a Linux engineer who can also do VMware and Citrix and who will also take general support calls from the helpdesk when they escalate it and do 2nd and 3rd line support. 

They have adverstised this role a few times over the last few weeks and i have applied to it repeatedly and yet they have not got back to me because evidently they believe that they can find candidates that are a better fit. They wont. 

This is where recruitment consultants let themselves down. they do not push back on their clients unreasonable technical specifications and do not tell them that this person does not really exist. people who are managing Kubernetes clusters do not also do Citrix. People configure networks, routers and firewalls tend not to also do general 2nd line support. There are not that many people who can support Windows and Linux, let alone also support VMware and Firewalls and Kubernetes and that know Terraform and Azure. I have worked with some fantastically talented and clever people on my travels across IT departments in London, but i have never met anyone that could or would be able to do everything they are asking for. these people are living in la la land. 

i did speak to another agent about this role and they said they dont want anyone with general Cisco routing and switching experience but specifically Fortinet firewalls and Meraki and Palo Alto. 

She said they really want a network specialist who specialises in configuring those devices....but who will also do 2nd line support.......and Windows.....and Linux.......and VMware.......and Citirx......and Azure.......and Kubernetes........and Terraform. 

Fucking clowns. 

This clip below is The Gaslight Anthem performing in Los Angeles at the Henry Fonda theatre on Hollywood Blvd in September 2009. I was there. what a great night.