close my eyes

its like pulling teeth getting anything done at work. you can't take a shit without raising a ticket to half a dozen different departments, and to make things worse, no one actually gives you a definitive version of what the process for anything is. to make things worse you end up receiving jobs to do through their ticketing system that are riddled with errors. its incredibly frustrating. servers named incorrectly, servers in the wrong datacentre, incorrect amount of storage specified, wrong version of windows, etc etc....

this is an experience unlike any i have had before and hopefully unlike any i will ever have again. the other banks i worked at had huge amounts of process as well, and i complained they had too much, but this current bank is at a whole new level of bearocracy.

i am so glad i have worked in other places and have experiences to compare this place to. this is not how the rest of the world, or even other investment banks function. this is not the real world and a lot of the people here could really learn a lot from seeing how they get work done in other firms and use the best parts of the way they work.

i wouldn't know better if this was the first place i had ever worked at and if i got used to this, i would be in for a huge shock if i ever moved on, but i do know better and i have moved jobs and thats what makes me endure the frustration for the time being. its not like i have a choice at this moment in time, but hopefully a choice will come up soon and i will choose to move on, when it does.

.....sorry had to vent....... will close my eyes for a few seconds and imagine i am in san diego, sitting on pacific beach in the bright sunshine and listening to the ocean.....or maybe imagine i am in LA, sitting outside in the sunshine sipping on a cool drink watching the human traffic walk by on melrose. i feel better already. all is well again.



today i have mostly been listening to the gaslight anthem - old white lincoln.



If I could write, I'd tell you how much I miss these nights

take care flower.
Xx