99 problems

one of the purposes of this blog is to record what goes on at work so that i don't forget how it really was. sometimes with hindsight your memories of what it was really like is clouded and not as truthful as it actually was.

just last week i had lunch with a few of my friends that still work at the intenet company i used to work for and it was lovely to see them all and it felt just like old times. the truth of the matter is that i had lots of good friends that i had some good times with, but the work and the way is was treated was pretty shitty and thats why i left, but for a couple minutes i almost kidded myself into thinking it was all good times and laughs there.

today i have been working with laidback guy again. my god its hard working with him. he answers questions with questions and talks in broken sentences so its really hard to make any sense of what he is saying. its all a big jumble of nonsense. i reckon its a bit similar to talking to ozzy osbourne. he just rambles and can't remember anything because his brain is so fried, much in the same way as laid back guy. i think i will refer to him as ozzy from now on. :-)

anyways, its been a busy week at work only because the amount of administration and process is just totally out of control here. on tuesday night a 2 minute job turned into a 3 hour job because we had to get so many authorisations from so many poeple. its madness. i can't understand how people can stand to work in this way. i must be not normal i guess, because they all seem to be pretty content, but it drives me insane.

anyways, if in the weeks and months from now, i remember this experience fondly i will have these posts to remind me that i need not to do so, and i will have a record of what it was really like.

look after yourself and have a lovely weekend flower.

today i have mostly been listening to Jay-Z - 99 problems.

turn the page

i asked the laid back guy i work with if he could build a few blade servers for me. i gave him all the details like names and addresses and which blade to build each one on. he logged into the blade chassis and just picked the first server in slot 1 to start the build. i asked him to build on the server in slot 4 as that was the hardware that had been allocated to me. he replied that it was not important which actual blade it went on as long as it was in the right chassis. what!!!!. no dude, thats not right, you MUST build on the allocated blade otherwise it screws everything up.

anyways i insisted they get built on the particular blades assigned but i fear for what he has been doing the last couple of months. you know what?, i just don't want to know. if that is how he has done things then everything he has done is going to be screwed and need to be re-installed. oh man......i just don't want to know about the mess out there.

aside from that things are ok. been working quite long hours because i have a ton of stuff to do, most of it not requiring the use of my brain. just chasing up other people to get their stuff done so i can get on with my stuff.

had a call from the games company and the guy there said that one of their staff was maybe emigrating in the new year and that they would call me in if that happened and look to get me in. i told him that was fine for me. in the meantime i am applying for other stuff and we shall see what comes through. nothing has yet and i know its a shit time of year and i know the economy is screwed but just like it seems that the good times don't last forever.....neither do the bad times last forever.

take care my friend. miss you.

today i have mostly been listening to metallica - turn the page. orginally a song by bob seger and both versions are wicked. sad video to go along with the metallica version done in a documentary style.

chinese democracy

yikes, i have been busy today. had to get some servers ready for someone who needs them badly and because it was holding up their project. the day has just flown by, but it was nice to just concentrate on one thing and getting it done. now thats finished with i am back to doing scraps of work and finishing off shit that no one else wants to do. thats just life i guess.

had a quiet weekend. cycled to the gym on saturday and it was absolutley freezing outside. the cold was just going straight through me and i was so relieved to get back home and indoors. it was a tough ride and my legs just had nothing in them. when its cold like that your muscles just seize up like an engine without oil. was thinking about southern california all the way home.

look after yourself V. miss you.

today i have mostly been listening to guns'n'roses - chinese democracy. it fucking rocks.

starving

after yesterdays disagreement that the 2 guys i work with had, one of them has not come into work today. probably best that they cool off, but its a shame that they are both behaving like this. am trying to be the peacemaker in between them but am not going to go out of my way to help them too much. if they want to bicker like children there is nothing i can really do about it. you really would think they would know better.

2 new unix contractors started on monday and have spent the last 4 days sitting in the canteen because they have no pcs, desk, logins. what a shambles, but you got to laugh fellas.

was supposed to have a call this afternoon from that games company that might be looking to hire someone but i have no confirmation so i don't know if it will happen. have heard that might have some projects coming up in the new year. will do a bit of preperation in the meantime as it better to be safe than sorry.

something come through for me in the new year, please please please. i want to do a job in IT and computers again. sorry to break it to the people that work here in the tech department but what we are doing is not a serious or proper computing job. its just not fellas. its all just proceduralised (if thats a word???) bullshit.

that feeling i had when i got my first job in computers, of wanting to learn about things i didn't know, has not dissipated in the slightest over the years. that fire is still burning for me. have been downloading lots of whitepapers about new products and guides to intalling and configuring various SANs and servers and lots of other shit i have no clue about.

i am not clever or brilliant at what i do. i am not going to make any new discoveries or come up with anything that hasn't been seen or done before. its just that i haven't seen it or done it and so for me its a new discovery, and thats good enough for me.

found myself nearly buying a chemistry book a couple of days ago, after reading in the paper about BASF, the chemicals company putting out a profits warning because there was less demand for products like polyethelyne. found myself thinking about organic chemistry and the make up of a polyethelyne molecule. shit i need to get a more interesting job. my brain is starving.

look after yourself cali girl.

funny

.....now that was fucking funny. like i mentioned before the 2 other guys i work with don't really like working with each other. one of the guys is a bit spaced out and in his own world, whilst the other guy is quite hyper and wants to get everything done quickly and has no patience for anything and gets pissed off at everything.

anyways, just now they had a face to face disagreement on the floor i sit on.they weren't shouting or anything but voices were slightly raised and there was a sharp tone in what they were saying. as is usual for me when i am in a tense situation, i was trying to contain my laughter and had to bite my lip as it was fucking funny seeing them argue like that.

we are contractors fellas. lets just do whatever work we get and keep our heads down and get on with it. i keep telling the one of the guys not to get so stressed and pissed off about stuff but he just can't seem to let it slide and not make it bother him. to break up their argument i called one of the guys over and asked him a question about something i was working on, otherwise they would both still be standing there going over the same shit.

i think my experience a couple of contracts ago, when i had to sit next to an asshole for a couple of months was beneficial for me. it was an exercise in restraint and containing frustration and that particular guy was such a big asshole that i have not come across anyone even remotely as annoying as him, since i left. its all been a walk in the park...relatively. everybody needs to calm the fuck down and chill out. i told you this was going to be good entertainment.

we contractors rarely get involved in disputes or politics. i miss that a little bit, but we have it here. hopefully there is more to come. :-)

keep smiling my friend.

entertainment

there are 3 people in my team that i have to work with. we all started in the last couple of months or so, one guy a couple weeks before me and one guy a couple of weeks after me. i get on with everyone fine, but the other 2 guys have a real problem working with each other.

you see one of the guys here is a bit spaced out and seems to just jumble everything up. he is a nice guy but its kind of frustrating working with him because he just waffles on and on when he talks and most of the time you can't understand what he is trying to say to you. he is really disorganised and just messes up a lot of stuff.

an example of him being spaced out was a few minutes ago i asked him a question. he said pardon and so i repeated it and he said pardon again, and so i repeated it again at the same volume in the same tone, and then he answered it. its like this all day if you have to deal with him. dude, are you high?, have you been smoking some herbs?. you find yourself constantly repeating yourself when you talk to him. its like he is not listening even when he appears to be looking at you and appears to be attentive.

it doesn't really bother me too much but it drives the other guy i work with crazy, and he gets very stressed about it and today i think he is close to breaking point. its a good thing they sit on different floors in this building otherwise they might have exchanged some harsh words now. most of their communication is done via messenger and he is just the same where you have to type the same question to him 3 times for him to respond.

its all very amusing to me. i don't let it get to me. i keep telling the other guy to now worry about it and just get into that contractor mindset of doing your own work and not get involved in anything else going on. its leads to a much less stressful existence in places like this. he is new to contracting and i think he just finds it hard to not give a shit about stuff. i find it quite easy these days.

anyways they just had a small argument on messenger and they are both sitting at their desks with smoke coming out of their ears. ha ha ha!!!. nice to have some entertainment at work for a change.

today i have mostly been listening to keane - spiralling. i don't really like a lot of their stuff but this is a wicked tune. credit where credit is due.




take care my friend

close my eyes

its like pulling teeth getting anything done at work. you can't take a shit without raising a ticket to half a dozen different departments, and to make things worse, no one actually gives you a definitive version of what the process for anything is. to make things worse you end up receiving jobs to do through their ticketing system that are riddled with errors. its incredibly frustrating. servers named incorrectly, servers in the wrong datacentre, incorrect amount of storage specified, wrong version of windows, etc etc....

this is an experience unlike any i have had before and hopefully unlike any i will ever have again. the other banks i worked at had huge amounts of process as well, and i complained they had too much, but this current bank is at a whole new level of bearocracy.

i am so glad i have worked in other places and have experiences to compare this place to. this is not how the rest of the world, or even other investment banks function. this is not the real world and a lot of the people here could really learn a lot from seeing how they get work done in other firms and use the best parts of the way they work.

i wouldn't know better if this was the first place i had ever worked at and if i got used to this, i would be in for a huge shock if i ever moved on, but i do know better and i have moved jobs and thats what makes me endure the frustration for the time being. its not like i have a choice at this moment in time, but hopefully a choice will come up soon and i will choose to move on, when it does.

.....sorry had to vent....... will close my eyes for a few seconds and imagine i am in san diego, sitting on pacific beach in the bright sunshine and listening to the ocean.....or maybe imagine i am in LA, sitting outside in the sunshine sipping on a cool drink watching the human traffic walk by on melrose. i feel better already. all is well again.



today i have mostly been listening to the gaslight anthem - old white lincoln.



If I could write, I'd tell you how much I miss these nights

take care flower.
Xx

the gaslight anthem

been listening to the gaslight anthem the last couple of days. it reminds me of being somewhere else and not here, and i really want to be somewhere else these days. they play very american music heavily influenced by early springsteen but thats no surprise as they are from new jersey. lots of songs about cars and girls.

anyways decided to check out their website and saw they are playing in london at the astoria2 in about 3 weeks, so i bought tickets to go see them. its a great little venue to see a band play in.

work is the same as always though saying that i have actually done a little bit of work today, which makes a change. it was trivial by the way and appears as it will be from here on. oh well. have noticed a couple of other things whilst sat at my desk about people in the office. there is one guy here thats sits at his desk with his suit jacket on all the time. who sits with their jacket on all day?. at the end of the day its all creased up and looks like he has slept in it. its weird but there was someone who did the exact same thing at my last bank.

there are also a few people here that have put listed their qualifications or degrees on their email signatures. i can't stand that shit. its just petty point scoring and wanting to make yourself look clever or some shit. do they think we are going to be impressed or think they are really clever?. can you stop it please because actually i think it makes you look like a bigheaded egotistical asshole. idiot tech boss in my previous job used to do the exact same thing of listing his titles and qualifications and we all know that having worked with him, he was the biggest dumbass i have ever come across despite his doctorate, which i still can't believe he had.

anyways thats all i have to say about that.

keep smiling cali girl

Nxx

BEng(Hons)Electronic Enginnering, MCP, MCP+I, MCSA+messaging, MCSE, MCITP-Enterprise administrator, Citrix CCA, VMWare VCP.... captain of football team in high school.... 2nd placed finish in the sprint in my class aged 8 (photo finish).... lap record holder around the nurburgring in gran turismo on the playstaion.... 4th place finish in cross country running aged 13.... grade D in french aged 16.... drawing of car made in crayon posted on fridge aged 4 (coloured in, mostly inside the lines).

how'd you like them apples mutha fuckas!. i think i might use that signature on my work emails from now on. i bet people will be really impressed.

week 7

got a couple of calls about possible other contracts. i doubt anything will happen and i think its more a case of recruiters getting things lined up for any work that might come in, in the new year. anyways we shall see how it goes.

work is the same as always. i still don't have all the access to the sysyems i need. i just email the support teams and they try something and it doesn't work and then i mail them again and wait. it would be really frustrating and annoying if i cared but i don't care. i gave up caring a long tome ago. take as long as you want fellas doing whatever it is you do. this is my 7th week and i still can't be productive and its not my fault. as usual things are being 'chased up' with regards to all this shit.

need to remind myself to be a bit more careful when talking to recruiters. there aren't any quiet rooms that i can go to when they do call so i end up standing in the stairwell by the lifts because thats the closest place away from my desk to talk. i try and keep my voice down but its a public staircase and on more than a few occasions today i have said phrases like "yeah, i am available immediately" and "i will get those references to you", just as someone from my floor has walked past. oh well.

have football this week. am really in need of getting some football action. i had to miss last week because i went out with some friends and i am suffering withdrawal symptoms now. oh lord why didn't you give me immense footballing talent and let me play for arsenal and barcelona earning a hundred grand a week, instead of leaving me here working in the bank that time forgot. still you got to laugh. :-)

take care cali girl.

today i have mostly been listening to the gaslight anthem - '59 sound. its a wicked tune. they are from new brunswick, new jersey and when i am in new york and i am taking the train back to my uncles house in new jersey, the train i get also goes to new brunswick. i get off the train a few stops before but maybe one day i will forget to get off at my stop and end up in new brunswick. anyways, have a listen.

death by email

it was hard to get out of bed this morning. motivation is low on a monday when you know you are going to be bored all day and all week. to top it off its horrid weather outside. its dark and its raining in that way when you know its going to carry on like that all day. the weather today is the type i just hate the most. if you are going to rain, then do it properly and come down like cats and dogs and enough already with this persistant slow falling rain that just seems never ending.

also feel a little cut off from the world today as i forgot my phone at home. its weird how reliant you become on it. it means i can't take calls from recruiters and i can't text and call my friends either. its just me on my own cut off from the rest of the world stuck here in this soulless bank for the rest of the day.

speaking of the bank, i have got a little bit more access but still not everything i need. i have made people aware of it and all they say is "chase it up". i would have thought telling someone once would be enough. have never heard the phrase "chase it up" so many times in a place in my life. i was sitting at the desk of one of the team leaders and he had 3,500 unread messages in his inbox. wow!!. no wonder nobody responds to email if they are all like him. any message must just get lost with all the other crap and its all frighteningly inefficient. i get bombarded with all kindfs of crap sent to me. they really shouldn't email so much crap to everyone. its like death by email. anyways i just have to remind myself that its 7 weeks till the end of the year after which we will find a brighter day somewhere else.

saw a special offer on plane tickets to LA for travel in june '09. was nearly tempted to buy one because it was such a good deal, but i have no idea where or what i will be doing then, so i didn't in the end. it was nice to think about it for a while. i miss california even more on days like these.

had another quiet weekend. was supposed to go to a friends house on saturaday night but the trains were screwed and i would have had to have taken a bus and then a train and then a 15 minute walk at the other end. it was raining on saturday night and it was too much hassle to get there and back home so i gave it a miss. spent most of yesterday tidying up. threw out a ton of crap that i didn't need but had just accumalated over the past few months and years.

today i have mostly been listening to MGMT - time to pretend. awesome song.

strange universe

thank god its thursday. its my favourite day of the week and it means that there is only one more to go before we get to the weekend. i have never looked forward to the end of the working week like i have in this contract at the bank. thankfully the weeks are passing by quote quickly now and not dragging on like they were when i first got here.

got talking to one of the unix admins in the lift and he said it was a mission getting all his system access set up when he started as well. he said he got to wondering why they hired and paid him if they were not going to get things set up for him so he could work. my feelings exactly. its a most strange environment and experience at this place and unlike anything i have experience before or hopefully will ever again. this is the end of my 6th week and i have done absolutely nothing. companies usually like to get contractors working and doing something productive as soon as they can, but thats not the case here.

the people here will be screwed if they ever leave this place. the rest of the world does not function like this at all. i would hate to be trapped in a place like this for all my career. its like living some kind of strange parallel universe not connected to reality.

am out in shoreditch tonight to meet up with some friends i used to actually work with, and i mean proper work, in a normal job and company. my goodness those were the days.

6 weeks

this is being written from a PC that has an internet connection at work. it only took 6 weeks to get this sorted out for me. bravo!, champagne for everyone. i still don't actually have an administartive account so i still can't do any work, but at least i am connected to the outside world. i asked one the guys here who has been here for years as far as i can tell, how i get an admin account and he tried to show me but then struggled to come up with any information and said he would get back to me. yeah, whatever fella!.

to be honest i really just don't care. this is by far the worst job i have ever had but you know what, you just have to laugh about it. its so ridiculous and i have so many stories of incompentence that i am looking forward to leaving this place and recalling the tales of ineptitude to future colleagues.

US election tomorrow. come on USA elect obama. our european presidents and prime ministers will look even older, blander and more boring than they already are standing next to obama, and believe me they will all want to be seen standing next to him hoping some of his charisma rubs off on them. it will also make a marked change of not wanting to be seen anywhere near your current president. he couldn't less popular if he had herpes.

had a busy but boring weekend. gym, laundry, grocery shopping, ironing, haircut, blah blah.

take care V.