madagascar

am on early shift this week which means catching my train at 7.30am, which is not that early to be honest. have had it worse and i remember doing earlies at the japanese bank i worked at and having to get a train at 6am. that shit hurt. work is still going well. this week has just flown by. if i was still at the bank it would be wednesday today and not friday...if that makes any sense

anyways, today on the way to work, i was on the train and had my headphones on listening to guns'n'roses - better, from the chinese democracy album, which is really good, and i heard a clicking noise. for a second i thought it was something in the music i was listening to but when i looked beside me, there was a guy there with a nail clipper, clipping his fingernails. what the fuck dude!. you are clipping your nails on a tube train, that is full of people!..... who does that?..... who thinks my finger nails are getting long, i could cut them at home......oh fuck it, i will just take my nail clippers with me and do them on the tube....yes, thats a plan....i am a genius.

top tip: cutting your fingernails/toenails in a public place is just wrong.

i just stood there looking at him with a look of contempt and i suspect i was not the only one doing so.

it was a struggle getting out of bed this morning. had football last night and by the time i had got back in and showered and to bed it was half past midnight. i thought i was dreaming when my alarm went off at 6.30 this morning. football was good but we were short of numbers as a few people dropped out.

i also mentioned to my friend if he was interested in going to california in september but as usual he made lame excuses. very poor indeed especially from someone who is saying how much he liked it when he has been there. he will do what he did last year, which was rather than come on our road trip he decided to go to ireland where it rained everyday for 2 weeks and then he came back saying he got bored and regretted not coming with us. the chance has come up again to go and he is probably not going to take it again. as the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

anyways if i do go it will be in 6 months time. that is a long way away, but i have already looked at maybe renting an apartment or small house/bungalow in hollywood for a week if i am in LA. we shall see what happens but where there is a will there is way and i will get something organised.

am definitely not going to ask my friend who i went on the road trip with, partly because i haven't spoken to him in the 6 months since we got back and also because he is the most boring person alive. he should be in the guiness book of records for being boring. he is the heavyweight champion of boring. he could get a job at guantanamo and instead of waterboarding detainees which is against the geneva convention, he could bore them. nothing in the geneva convention about boring someone....though having been through it, boredom that is, not waterboarding....there bloody well should be. i think i might write to the UN and see if they might want to amend the geneva convention.

today i have mostly been listening to guns'n'roses - madagascar, from the album chinese democracy. its wicked.

have a lovely weekend flower.

firsts

it was the first weekend where i cycled to the gym with out wooly hat and gloves on. it was lovely weather on saturday with blue skies and bright sunshine. slate grey skies returned on sunday but the biting cold has subsided and its pretty mild today and the forecast is for it to be like that all week.

thursday was also the first evening without wooly hat and gloves at football and i think we are turning the corner. it shouldn't be such a big deal, the weather that is, but for me it is. i absolutely hate winter and cold. if it were just a few weeks it would be fine, but months of darkness gets me down and i am a sunshine person.

i heard from one of the guys i worked with at the bank and he said things are still pretty bad. they were pretty bad when i was there, so no change there i guess. strangely enough i had an agent call me about a job going at the same bank, but i told him i would rather eat hair than go back to that place. i didn't quite say i would eat hair, but i turned it down rather quickly. besides, i am not looking to move anyway.

it did also get me thinking about the last place i worked at because i had completely forgotten about it. i only left 3 weeks ago, but it just seems like a distant faded memory and i can't recall too many details, though that might be because i did hardly anything memorable there. it almost seems like subconsciously i blocked it out like some traumatic event. that bank was like a car crash. anyways, i have this blog to remind me and i give thanks that i am not there any more.

the new job is still going ok. nothing to complain about at all. i find myself constantly asking permission to do simple things on servers, and my boss always says to go ahead. it comes from working in banks where you have to get permission to take a shit, let alone do anything on a server. anyways, am finding the boundaries of what i am allowed to do and how much freedom i have. this seems like the type of organisation that lets people use their brains and initiative, unlike investment banks, of which i have worked for 3 different ones. an american bank, a japanese bank and a german bank. sounds like the beginning of a joke and whilst it was an experience and i saw some stupid things i would not have believed before, it was definitely not funny.

anyways the good news is that for the first time in a while my brain is being utilised.

inter milan v man utd on tv tomorrow night. tuesday night is when i usually go to the gym. what to do, what to do??. maybe i will go training on wednesday. that should be ok.

have a lovely week flower.

today i have mostly been listening to empire of the sun - walking on a dream.

trent and janes

trent reznor posted on his blog that he will be touring with janes addiction this summer. the 2 best live bands that i have seen are going to tour together and on the same bill!. its going to be incredible. i really hope its not just a US tour and they come over to london town, but i will be keeping a look out and if they are in california in august or september i will adjust my holiday dates and try and catch them out there in cali.

aside from the excitement of nin and janes together, its another day at work and things are going ok. i really can't complain about anything and that really is saying something because i am always whining about the jobs i have had in the past. 

not much else to report really. am meeting a friend tonight in farringdon and there is football on thursday night. forecast is for it to be mild all week so i am looking forward to playing without the need for gloves and my san francisco giants wooly hat on, for the first time in a few months and it also means i can cycle to the gym this weekend. only a couple more weeks till march and then spring has to show its face. it just has to. 

today i have mostly been listening to the stone roses - tears. for those on this side of the pond, a band as influential here in england as janes addiction were in the states. this song also contains one of the greatest guitar solos ever. 

look after yourself my friend. if all goes according to plan i will see you in cali in late summer which is even better than seeing janes or nin which would be just a bonus.  

messi

back to work today and its makes a change not dreading monday mornings in the way i used to when i was at the bank. our team of 3 is down to 2 as the other person in our team is away for the next month so it looks like we will be pretty busy here in the meantime. have been doing lots of things today and its so nice to be able to do some proper work for a change as opposed to just raising tickets all day which i what i used to do. done a bit of AD which is good and done a little bit of vmare as well and even a little bit of cisco call manager as well. its been a pretty good day all things considered. 

also its so convenient being in the west end. today at lunch time i went to the bank and i also took my mobile phone in for repair and i also went to the shops to looks for some trainers and then i bought my sandwich and was back at my desk with in 40 minutes. we are going from the darkness back into the light, and to top it all off, its been quite mild today and the biting cold has subsided. lets hope it does not return.  

watched the milan derby last night and inter who are my team, beat ac milan 2-1 in a very good game. looks like they will win the league again, but the european cup is what we are really after. probably not good enough to beat barcelona, who currently have the best player in the world in lionel messi, but it would be nice to get to the semi finals or finals and it would definitely be nice to knock man utd out. 

lionel messi is a truly extraordinary footballer and he is only 21 or 22. you just have to wonder what lies in store for him and how much he can achieve when he is already the best. he has a decade of greatness ahead of him. i have a feeling argentina will win the next world cup as they have just the right mix of young talent and experience as well in aguero and messi, along with mascherano and riquelme. mark my words, diego maradona will win the world cup as manager as well. 

all that talk of football makes me want to play tonight but will just have to wait a few days before my game. 

today i have mostly been listening to oasis - falling down. am not a big fan of oasis but this is the best song they have done in a few years. 

take care V

xx

football in snow

coming up to the end of my second week at work and its slowly getting better. feeling a little bit less stupid each day and a little more comfortable. its a strange experience after working in banks and constantly just plotting my escape, to be not plotting an imminent escape. lets be honest, i will go at some point but if its up to me i would like to stay longer than i have at my previous contracts. who knows....

had to go to the datacenter today on my own and that place is like a maze. took quite a few wrong turns inside the building trying to get to the room that has our servers in. will get used to it eventually. 

football last night and it started snowing again about an hour before we started playing and a bit more while we were playing. was going to take pics but i forgot my camera. it was bloody freezing and as much as i love playing football, i really didn't enjoy it much at all last night. would have rather gone to the gym or stayed home indoors. got in just before midnight and had to be up at 6.30 this morning because i am on the early shift at work, so was feeling a little strung out today. am on the late shift tomorrow which means i finish at 6pm, which is not very late at all. when i worked at the internet company i never left before 7. 

no big plans for the weekend not that i ever have big plans. gym and laundry are usually the highights. don't you wish you were me. :-)

got a couple of new films to watch and i have a book i have to read. thats its really. 

.....one day this winter will be over......

have a lovely weekend flower. 

xx

today i have mostly been listening to bon jovi - misunderstood. its a good song and i was going to link the video but embedding has been disabled and thats not a bad thing because its not a very good video. surely they could have come up with something better than that. 

second week

am into my second week at the new job and am slowly doing more and more. these early days can be uncomfortable because you don't know anything and you have to ask questions constantly and it could make you feel like a dumbass, if you hadn't been through it before, like i have a few times over that last couple of years, but as the days go by you slowly get more and more familiar with it and things get better. i think i can see myself being here till the end of the year......and after that.....who knows.....

am thinking that there might be some opportunities come up in 2010 after some lean times recently. might have the chance to get something interesting and lucrative....but thats a long way away and who knows how things will pan out before then. 

i think things will feel really good here once summer rolls round. the west end is a nice place to work at that time of year. i also heard from one of the guys i used to work at the bank and he said he was hating it even more than before. in a strange way it made me feel better though i felt a little bad for him knowing he was stuck there and i didn't rub it in that my new job was going quite well. 

i bumped into someone i used to work with from years ago, yesterday evening outside my office. hadn't seen her in ages, and she works round the corner from me. she got married and moved house since then and it was nice to catch up. we reminisced about the old days at the internet company and asked about various people we are still in touch with. will see her again soon for lunch. i need to reconnect with people in this part of town and its always nice to have an outside option for lunches as opposed to never leaving the office and eating lunch with the guys at work. i like to get out the office if i can. 

one of the air bubbles in my airmax 95s has burst. i thought it felt a little different when i was walking today and i just checked it. they are my winter airmax, and lets hope this is a symbolic sign, so that as i throw them out, it means this winter has ended. i think that maybe wishful thinking. might go out at lunch time and see if there are any nice trainers to buy. haven't bought any for the last couple of years since i was working at banks. anyways thats all for now. 

today i have mostly been listening to nine inch nails - the hand that feeds (live). i saw them in knoxville, tenessee last year. i might have mentioned it before once or twice. 

take care my friend of many years and many miles

love lockdown

you know that thing you get sometimes when you get a song in just running through your head all day. well today i have the song 'lovelock down' by kanye west running round my head all day and i found myself mumbling it to myself at my desk. 

..."i'm not loving you....way i wanted to...."

its the start of my second week at the new place. still being shown little bits and pieces and hopefully over the next few days i can get stuck into doing some proper work. you can only surf the net so much, although i have started a little bit of stocktrading on the side, and am going to try and make the money for my ticket to los angeles, so it almost works out like a free plane ticket. in 2 days i already made a quarter of the money i need. thats not bad going at all though i would not be so bold as to say its skills, but just luck. 

went to the gym this weekend and had a good workout both days. my gym is a corporate gym and you don't get too many musclebound meat-heads there posing in front of mirrors in their lycra vests, which is good. saying that though it does lower the bar a little and not boasting or anything, but i don't see too many people lifting more than me when i am there. 

this weekend though there were a couple of new faces there and there was one guy who wasn't that big but who was lifting silly amounts of weights. he was miles stronger than me, and yet didn't look like a meat-head. it kind of gave me motivation to push on a little more and not settle for what i am doing, not that i have not been pushing it already but it just showed how much more i could improve. i doubt i will end up lifting quite as much as that guy because i do cycling and football and i need to keep relatively lean as well but i can see there is much more potential to improve. 

one other thing i have noticed at the gym is that why is that fat old guys walk around the gym with their cocks hanging out. its fucking ridiculous. put it away dude, you are not at home. there are other people here that really don't want to see your bits. none of the younger guys who are into fitness do it. just the unfit fat older guys. 

on saturday mornings there are swimming classes for kids and some dads bring their young sons and daughters in, and they all get changed together in the mens locker room. there was a little girl who was about 6 or 7 with her dad, and yet there was some old codger walking round with his bits hanging out even though she was there. i nearly felt like going over to him and saying there are children here so put it away fella but i guess the last thing you want to do is get into a fight with a fat naked guy. oh god, how gross would that be. 

went out on friday night to smiths of smithfields and had a nice evening. met up with a couple of people i used to work with at the internet company. i do like smiths though. really nice place to just go for a drink or even get something to eat on the 2nd floor. i think i will go again next week. actually i just this minute arranged it with a friend of mine and we are going next tuesday. wicked. 

today i have mostly been listening to kanye west - love lockdown.....in my head. 

the george clooney incidents

i wtote a big long post but i deleted it as it was a bit of a downer. nothing to do with work which is good, but just about other stuff and er....stuff. there is no need for it. 

just re-read this post and it seems a bit down. i am fine, but just a little bored. this winter is getting me down. 

anyways here is a story just to cheer me up a little because i need it. this is all true by the way. 

about 6 months ago i went round to see my friend emma who is officially the nicest person in the world and all my friends that know her all think so as well. basically we all agree that if and when we get married we would want it to be with a person exactly like her. thats the biggest compliment i can pay her. i have known her for years and i know her husband who is a really nice guy and her kids and although we don't see each other that often, she is a really good friend. anyways she opens her front door and said "hello george". eh?, i replied. you look like george clooney and so we should just call you george" she said. she is always cracking jokes and making fun of stuff and i didn't think anything of it. 

then about a month or two before i went on my road trip across the US i was in the gym and i saw a guy that is a friend of a friend. we usually just say how you doing?, whats up?...blah blah blah but i don't know him that well. he came over and said hello and then looked at me in a strange way and suddenly said, dude you look like george clooney. i laughed it off and said yes but i am the younger, poorer, uglier version.......

a couple of months later i was in las vegas at a shopping mall and i went to the counter to pay for a shirt i was buying. the guy was scanning the ticket and folding it and then looked up and the first words he said were, "has anyone told you, you look like george clooney?". i replied actually yes, but unfortunately its just guys and housewives and not single girls who seem to think so, and i laughed it off.....

and then a few weeks ago i had lunch with a friend of mine from the internet company i used to work at. we got talking about who was still at the company and she said that one of their sys admins was resigning. i don't really know him as he started after i left and but i met him a couple of times at various drinks with my other friends. she said she told him she was meeting me and at first he couldn't remember me, but then it came to him and he said it was the guy that looks like george clooney. 

did you ever get the feeling people were all conspiring to play a trick or some kind of cruel joke on you?. just to set the matter straight, i don't actually look like george clooney though i think the fact that we may have similar hair is what makes people think so. also its mostly guys that think i look like him which is not a good thing. no girls have ever said that. 

actually when you think about it, this has turned into a bit of a depressing post as well. i can't seem to catch a break here. ah, fuck it! :-). 

today i have mostly been listening to kanye west - through the wire,

there's too much stuff in my heart right now....y'all don't understand how i feel right now. 

the new place

had my first day at work yesterday and it was ok. first days anywhere are never amazing, and you just sit there getting all your access sorted out and your door pass and getting your pc all set up with the right software that you will need. its a bit of a bedding -in process. 

one thing to note is that it took 7 weeks to get a login account and a pc and my door pass, at my last bank. here at the new place it took 2 hours. thats more like it. 

people seem nice, though to be fair, most of the people i worked with in banks were really nice as well. there were a couple of assholes but the laws of probability state that they can be employed anywhere. the office i work in is a lot nicer than where i came from and my desk is huge. its the biggest desk i have ever had. its almost 6 feet long i reckon. its massive. we also get free softdrinks and tea and coffee (i don't do coffee) and most importantly my boss seems like a nice guy. 

if all goes well i might stick it out for a while. i will be nice to just get settled in somewhere and not even think of leaving for a while, not that i will have the option of leaving, given the state of the economy. anyways, what the fuck am i talking of leaving for, i said i want to stay for while. i have already seen things they are running that i don't know about, which is a good thing. i will be in trouble once i learn it, but whilst i have something to investigate and build some knowledge on, i will be fine. 

snow has started melting away though we might get some more on friday. i hope not. its all dirty slush outside and more snow is just going to make a mess. 

today i have mostly been listening to the arcade fire - keep the car running.  

take care flower. 

snow

it snowed lat night and this morning and as is usual when anything happens with the weather, london comes to a halt. no buses running, and very few trains working. my boss from my new job called me this morning and said that not many people would be able to make it into the office today and i should start tomorrow. it would have been a bit strange if i turned up and no one was there.

my friend V, from san diego sent me a couple of pics from southern califirnia. compare and contrast. i think we all know where might be better..........and its not london. i would have taken more pics but its freezing outside.






today i have mostly been listening to robyn - with every heartbeat. its not the thing i would usually like but they play it at my gym all the time, and its a good song.