4-1

a weekend of beautiful sunshine and beautiful football on tv. cycled to the gym on both days and it was lovely to be out although a little dangerous. i ran into someone on my bike after some guy just ran out across the street in front of me. i managed to swerve and fortunately for him, i only clipped his foot. he scurried away apologising for not seeing me. don't apologise mate. i am doing 20mph and weigh 85kg and am riding a metal bike. if i was to run into you, you would come off worse.
had a couple of other near misses again as well. people seem to go blind when its sunny.

i also watched some of the glastonbury music festival over the weekend. gorillaz were rubbish on friday night. 2 hours of self induglent horse shit by damon albarn and his musician mates. get your head out of your arse you mockney twat.
also watched the dead weather were good, muse were boring, stevie wonder was ok, and groove armada were really very good and i don't really like dance music, but they had the place jumping.

i also watched england v germany and england got murdered 4-1. they were awful all the way through the tournament and so it was not surprise. what was a surprise was that not only were some of the players off form, but they were just simply unfit. its one thing for people to have more talent, but to be so outclassed physically is quite something. gareth barry got humiliated for the 4th goal. in a 40 metre sprint he had a 10 metre head start and yet finished 10 metres behind at the end. i burst out laughing when it happend. still, argentina are still in it, and i don't own an english shirt but i do own 2 argentina shirts, so draw your own conclusions.

its back to work today. it was planned for me to sit with another team on another floor this week, to see what they do but because my department is such a shambles, there was no one to take me up there to be introduced so i decided to go up there on my own and see them. its a bit awkward being a newbie and introducing yourself to people who have no idea who you are. "hello, i am in the datacenter team, i am here to sit with you guys this week, nice to meet you whatever your name is and what is it you do again?".

thanks for putting the newbie in a shit situation where i have to introduce myself around the company. what a slick operation. still, no bother. we shall persevere with it, whilst at the same time plotting an escape.

today i have mostly been listening to angels and airwaves - young london.

politics

it usually takes a few months to become aware of any tensions and politics in any new place i start work at. i think i would become aware of it earlier but i tend to keep myself to myself and so i usually don't here much at the beginning. thats not the case here at my new job. i am in week 3 and i can already feel a tension with one of the other teams and some sniping and back biting between them. they think our department is lazy and does very little work (they are on the money there), and the people in my department think they just blame any screw ups they make, on them (possibly true as far as i can tell).

anyways, this morning one of the guys was whining about the other team again, and it was just so lame. what is wrong with these people. i wonder if they can hear themselves when they come out with shit like he was talking this morning . its no bother for me as i will be gone at some point. this job will not be my life, but these other people have been here years and just seem to almost enjoy whining about shit and regressing into childish behaviour.

i think i used to be like that when i had been in the same job for years, but moving around resets your brain and you work with new people and you also become aware of your own behaviour and proffessionalism. you also observe the good and bad and one would like to think that you try and pick up the working habits of those people that are good and not the bad ones.

speaking of professionalism, yesterday i was walking to get some lunch with one the guys in our department. we were just chatting away and he asked me why i was wearing my jacket on a hot day. i said it was because i didn't like having my trouser pockets full of money and security passes, and my phone and my mp3 player and my train ticket and stuff. half in jest, he then suggested i get a belt so that i clip everything to it, to which i jokingly replied that people who did that were 'IT cunts'. he flinched when i said that and said there was no need for that kind of language.
sorry, didn't realise i was working with mary fucking poppins.

i cycled to the gym last night. i usually go by train on my way home from work but the weather was so nice yesterday that i thought i would go home and cycle it. watched part of the japan v denmark game and then around 9pm i cycled home. nothing eventful or special aside from the fact that it was the most beautiful evening in the history of the existence of planet earth, and thats going back hundreds of millions of years, and not just 10,000 years like some of those creationist and intelligent design idiots might have you believe. if there is intelligent design why did god create idiots who believe that shit. not that intelligent design, after all.

will post some music tonight when i get home from this brain vacuum. its a bank and everything is blocked.

UPDATE.
today i have mostly been listening to sound of guns - architects.

10C

was almost ready to completely walk out of my job a couple of days ago, after the boredom just got too much. fortunately i found some work to do because i had a problem with a server i was building and that got me through the next couple of days. also the weather has gotten better and that has put me in a much more relaxed and chilled mood, and when its sunny i can take anything and it doesn't bother me. have been going to st pauls cathederal at lunch times and just sitting in the little square in the sunshine, with all the other office workers. the people i work with tend to just go to the canteen most of the time. i need to get out of the building and its nice to sit in the sun listening to my music and watching the world go by.

aside from that not much going on. the world cup is still on and its fantastic. every evening when i come home from work there is drama and excitement on tv. i don't usually watch my tv but i look forward to going home and sitting in front of the tube watching a game for a couple of hours. what will we do when its all over?.

am still applying for jobs but things seem to have gone a bit quiet. i will persist and something will turn up. its just a question of sticking with it and to keep pushing.

thats all folks. this weekend its going to be 10C warmer than LA, here in london.

today i have mostly been listening to nine inch nails - every day is exactly the same.

still alive

guess what?. i actually did a little bit of work when i was at work yesterday. it felt quite strange. had gotten quite used to do doing nothing all day and reading match reports and the news for 8 hours a day.

anyways, it wasn't anything particularly exciting, just installing ESX on a server, but at least it was something. after that i did some more work, but that was just checking some settings on 16 blade servers. i had to do it with one of the guys thats new and started a couple of weeks before me. my god, did he whine and complain about it. if he had spent as much energy doing the work instead of whining about it, we would have been done with in an hour. instead it went on for nearly 2 hours. it was getting quite annoying after a while. he then started to whine about some shit his wife was going through at her job, and i had to listen to that endlessly as well. felt like saying, excuse me mate, you should tell this to someone who actually gives a shit. i didn't and just nodded sympathetically and saying the occasional, 'no way', 'really?' and 'thats too bad', just for effect. i had tuned out for most of it.

no news on any other new contracts for me. i wonder if things are a bit slow because the world cup is on. who knows?. in the meantime i am still there and still getting paid. keep thinking it will be worth it when i am driving in LA in my camarro or mustang with janes addiction on the stereo, on a lovely southern californian evening as the sun is setting.

i sway from leaving one minute to staying the next. its not good. at the moment i am in a staying mood, solely for the reason that i have not earned a pay check like this before and i want to see how it feels for a little while. thats shallow but its true.

went to the gym today on my bike. nearly got killed 3 times by idiots in their cars not looking and just pulling out or driving really close to me and nearly knocking me off. you would think i was the invisible man or something. by the 3rd near miss on my way home i got really annoyed. some guy in his car came past and almost brushed past me as he came past. i was livid. i gargled up a huge green slimy flem and tried to catch him up, but he was just out of range for me to fire it at his car. given the mood i was in, he might have made a serious mistake if he had then stopped and got out of the safety of his metal box he was in, as i had just been to the gym and was feeling strong. anyways, i am calm now and i am still alive.

world cup is still on. no classic games yet, but its the group phase and there rarely are. next weekend we get into the knock out stages and then the tension is intense. think i will watch a bit of cameroon v denmark tonight. will be supporting the west africans this evening.

today i have mostly been listening to groove armada - i won't kneel. enjoy.

evil

so whats the score?. well i am applying for other roles like crazy in an attempt to extracate myself from my current contract. am giving it a full court press to use a basketball analogy. i wonder if they know that my mind is elsewhere. they might after today when i had a 2 hour lunch break. met up a friend of mine and just didn't want to go back to work afterwards. we both didn't want to go back. the fact that the sun came out today and it was a lovely afternoon for a slow walk around st pauls and over the river towards london bridge finally persuaded me to go back.

anyways, hopefully something comes up soon and if it doesn't we will just have make a decision and make the best of whatever situation we find ourselves in. its all we can do.

world cup is still on and thats helping me get through these slightly strange days.

today i have mostly been listening to interpol - evil. i could have posted the video, but instead i have posted this studio performance. i do like my rock stars to make an effort and dress well and look cool and these fellas look super cool. i think i might go to work dressed like the bass player one day. maybe not.

counterpoint

the world cup has started and all is well in the world. my new job is still shit, i got no bird, no car, am stuck in london and its coudy and overcast, but no bother because there is top class international football on tv....everyday!!!.

went to the gym yesterday and it was pretty empty. there were about 5 guys there and all of us were stood in front of the screens watching algeria v slovenia play inbetween our exercises. who knew there were so many people interested in algeria and slovenia, but no one at the gym was ignoring the tv. tonight its italy v paraguay and tomorrow night its brazil v north korea.

on the subject of my job, its the start of my second week and i am still doing nothing. am toying with idea of resigning in 3 weeks, once i get to the point after which i will need to give 4 weeks notice. once i get to that point i might be back in the same position i was before and i really don't want to miss out on any tasty contracts because i am stuck in the brain vacuum here. leaving the money will be hard but i haven't taken very little time off in the last year and a half so i think i am allowed some down time, if i can't land anything else.

i was also talking to the one of the new guys that has started at the bank and it turns out the one of the juicy contracts i missed out on a couple of months ago because i couldn't start soon enough, went to someone he knows. he said his friend also went for the job i am doing now but that he didn't get through the interview for this bank. he must be a dumb ass if he couldn't get through this banks interview, and to think, he is now doing that peach of a contract i missed out on. it makes you think. i need to make myself available.

today i have mostly been listening to delphic - counterpoint.

automatic

started my new job on monday and as to be expected i have done nothing all week as i wait for my accounts to be set up, though from what i have seen of what the other guys do, there is not much to do anyway. basically it looks like i will be part of a team that co-ordinates servers moves between datacentres and it looks like i will have to work most saturdays. basically its a shit job. its the job i didn't want to do. i have been hoodwinked and misled. maybe i will get put on a more interesting project but i seriously doubt it.

i would walk away from it, i really would, except for one fact. the money they are paying is silly and excessive. its almost obscene when you consider that this bank received billions in a tax payer funded bail out. at least this way, i will get all my money back and then some in a very short time. there appears to be very little work to do during the week and everything is geared up for saturday, but the whole team comes in during the week and ofcourse gets paid. its a complete doss. boredom is going to be the biggest problem. i just need to keep reminding myself that it will pay for a very nice holiday and rental car in southern california in september. actually i have already earned the equivalent of the cost of my holiday in the 4 days i have been there, but i will have to fool myself into thinking that its actually the next 4 days that will pay for it and do so for the next few weeks, or months. please god let it not be months.

in the meantime i have started to apply for other roles. i am going to get bored, de-skilled and de-motivated if i stay, and because i will be earning quite a lot, i will have little incentive to leave at a later time and will become institutionalised and trapped there. i won't let that happen but will take the money for the time being and hopefully something else comes up soon. god i hope so.

i know it sounds shitty of me to whine about not having any work to do and being paid a lot of money, and i don't mean to sound like an asshole, but thats just the way i feel. i worked in a supermarket when i was at uni and used to stack bottled water and toilet rolls and cereals every saturday for 5 years. what i am doing now is exactly the same as that, but more lucrative, but it doesn't mean its any better a job. i didn't want to stack toilet roll as a career and i don't want to work at this bank doing what i do, for the rest of my life.

its been like this at every bank. you would think i would know better by now, but i still believe that there is a good job that pays good money out there, as opposed to what i have done at banks thus far, which is bad jobs that pay good money.

today i have mostly been listening to yuck - automatic. good song with a beautifully simple video.

how to destroy angels

when its sunny, like it has been for the last couple of days, you get lots of people with their windows open playing music, either in their homes or in their cars. why is they never play anything good. its always shit hip hop (and i am not saying all hip hop is shit), or its reggae or its some shitty dance techno tune with nothing but a deep baseline. what ever it is its always shit. i have never heard anyone playing janes addiction or the cure or editors or led zeppelin or nine inch nails or prince or the stone roses or anything else even remotely good. its only those with poor taste that turn up their music loud.

if you want to know if you have no taste you can find out. if you turn up your music loud so your neighbours or the people on the street as you drive by, can hear it, the you have poor taste in music. simples.

today i have mostly been listening to how to destroy angels - the space in between. this is trent reznors new project that he is doing with his wife and some other dude. its ok. i think it might start to grow on me. check out the video. its wicked, especially the last 45 seconds or so.

week off

have been off a whole week. i had envisioned that i would be going to the gym everyday and cycling everyday, but it hasn't work out quite like that. the weather was lame over the weekend and start of the week. i recall looking out of the window on june 1st and thinking it looked like a dark and wet november day.

since tuesday the weather has improved and the last couple of days its been nice and hot and sunny. i can't even begin to describe how good it makes me feel when i see the sun and blue sky. who needs crack cocaine or heroin when its weather like this. why the fuck was river phoenix taking speedballs in the viper room. he lived in LA. its sunny all the time. i just don't get it.

anyways i have been to the gym a couple of times and i also did some shopping for my new job. no more jeans and trainers and casual shirts for me any more. back to suits and ties and shoes, and unlike most people who work in the city, who still manage to look scruffy in suits, i don't roll like that. nice new shiny shoes and a nice new suit as well. i have a couple of others from before so i can mix it up a little.

actually on the subject of the new job, i have decided that i will walk if i don't like it. am still not sure what they want me to do or what they expect me to do, but i really am not in the mood to do something shitty, no matter how much they pay me. i will give it a few week and give it a proper chance but if it ain't what i think it should be then its adios amigos, and i will make myself available for something else. i want a proper long term contract and don't want to leave again after 6 months. i think it will make me look bad if i keep leaving banks after 6 months. if i leave quickly after a few weeks it won't show up on my cv and i can just say i was on holiday or some shit like that.

was supposed to cycle tomorrow to st albans which is just outside london but my friend who was going to do it with me has pulled out. typical. don't fancy doing the 40miles on my own, so will just cycle to the gym instead. my friends are useless, and to think that i ask them if they want to go to california or new york. these people can't even make plans for a bike ride.

anyways new job on monday. it could go either way, but i shall make sure whatever it is, its best for me.

after a few delays my friend finally flew out on wednesday to start his tour in afghanistan. he will be out there till november, after which we shall all hopefully meet up and he'll have some stories to tell. he isn't a combat trained soldier. i think he mostly going to be doing logistics and drilling a few water wells and stuff. the less time he spends walking round on patrol the better.

today i have mostly been listening to janes addiction - jane says. when its sunny and warm there is nothing better.