Had an interview at lunchtime at the media/games company. To be honest there was part of me that wanted to cancel it and not bother with it. I am glad i didn’t listen to myself and went along to it. I should disregard my instincts more in future as it turned out quite well.
their office was really cool and they all seemed like really nice people and technically it looks really challenging as well. i am vmware certified but i might as well not be given the kind of work i have to do here at the bank which is just regular boring maintenance. I am MCSE but i might as well not be because i do easy repetitive tasks here as well.
judging by the level of the technical test they gave me, the games company want someone to know how to do more than just routine tasks. I couldn’t answer all the questions and i told the guy that, when he came back in after checking my answers, and he said i had answered more questions than any of the 3 candidates they had seen already. I actually screwed up a little and missed one page of questions and i said i was happy to go through it verbally. We sat down and his team asked me the questions and i answered as best i could.
The interview was nearly 2 hours in total and at the end of it he walked me back to reception and said again i was the best candidate they had seen and he said “if i were you i would be quietly confident”. He also said he was impressed with how i did part of the exam verbally and didn’t seemed phased by it the barrage of questions. Not had that said to me before after an interview. He said they had one more person to see on Monday and would make a decision pretty quickly after that.
If offered it i would definitely accept. Its 30 mins from my house. Its near my gym. Its in the west end where there are lots of places to go out to and do stuff. They asked if i would be willing to learn about Cisco call manager and EMC Clariion storage, which i would love to learn about, and the fact that they are paying more money is a bonus. I would do it even if it weren’t more money. For me it seems as if it just has the right balance of being small enough were you can get to do lots of stuff but no so small that you have to do lots of shit, but big enough so that they have money for interesting technology but not so big that you get to only do a tiny part of one thing for months on end.
Fingers crossed they come back with an offer next week. It will be a great summer if i land it. If not we will continue our odyssey and see where we end up.
Today i have been mostly listening to pink Floyd – wish you were here. Got some new noise cancelling headphone. They are wicked on the train and everything sounds so much better. I spend a lot of time on the train with my walkman on and so i thought i should invest in something that makes it a slightly less unpleasant experience than it always is. It does block a lot of the background noise out. Very clever indeed.
Take care V. Have a lovely day, lovely.
Friday 29 February 2008
Thursday 28 February 2008
roll with it
left work a couple hours early at 3pm and went to my interview today, or not as it turns out. i got there and the guy that was supposed to interview me came down and said he thought that the interview was at 2pm. i told him that i told the recruiter on the phone and by email that i could only do 3pm and that was the time she had agreed the interview would be.
he said we should reschedule for next week. i thought he would have gone ahead with it and just done the interview but he didn't. i told him i had taken time off work especially for it but he didn't seem that fussed. even in the 5 minutes of talking to him he came across as a bit of a shithead. i was a little fucked off with the whole situation. i had to be really careful and book the time off so as not to arouse too much suspicion at my current job, and now they want me to do it again next week. its definitely going to look suspicious if i ask for more time off next week. my current bank got burned when one of their staff jumped ship and i suspect they know what the tell tale signs are and probably suspect something already.
i am almost minded to tell the company i went to see today to go fuck themselves and to not bother rescheduling the interview. shit, if someone has made the effort to come down and see you even if its not when you were expecting them, its a bit of a shitty thing to send them away and make them come back. i assume they had everything prepared for when they wrongly were expecting me at 2pm. why not just go with it instead of being a asshole about it. something has obviously gone wrong in the scheduling,..... but we got to make the best of it, improvise, adapt to the environment, darwin, shit happens, i-ching whatever man, we got to roll with it.....
(from the film collateral)
and to top it all off its a fucker to get to their office. i thought i was in a shit part of town but this new place is even worse, if you can believe thats possible. its fucking horrible. the only saving grace is the money but you know what....i could see myself getting really annoyed with the travel in about 3 weeks, let alone 3 months and then i would have to bale again.
.....anyways i have to see another place tomorrow lunchtime. this time its in a nice part of town and its really convenient to get to and they might have a really cool office as they are a company with quite a cool reputation a bit like apple or nintendo but not them, but a little bit like them.
lets hope they are expecting me.
football got cancelled for the 2 week in a row. a couple of the guys went to a concert tonight and so we were short of numbers. i hope this is not the last of football and we get to play next week. i need to play.
today i have mostly been listening to madina lake - house of cards
he said we should reschedule for next week. i thought he would have gone ahead with it and just done the interview but he didn't. i told him i had taken time off work especially for it but he didn't seem that fussed. even in the 5 minutes of talking to him he came across as a bit of a shithead. i was a little fucked off with the whole situation. i had to be really careful and book the time off so as not to arouse too much suspicion at my current job, and now they want me to do it again next week. its definitely going to look suspicious if i ask for more time off next week. my current bank got burned when one of their staff jumped ship and i suspect they know what the tell tale signs are and probably suspect something already.
i am almost minded to tell the company i went to see today to go fuck themselves and to not bother rescheduling the interview. shit, if someone has made the effort to come down and see you even if its not when you were expecting them, its a bit of a shitty thing to send them away and make them come back. i assume they had everything prepared for when they wrongly were expecting me at 2pm. why not just go with it instead of being a asshole about it. something has obviously gone wrong in the scheduling,..... but we got to make the best of it, improvise, adapt to the environment, darwin, shit happens, i-ching whatever man, we got to roll with it.....
(from the film collateral)
and to top it all off its a fucker to get to their office. i thought i was in a shit part of town but this new place is even worse, if you can believe thats possible. its fucking horrible. the only saving grace is the money but you know what....i could see myself getting really annoyed with the travel in about 3 weeks, let alone 3 months and then i would have to bale again.
.....anyways i have to see another place tomorrow lunchtime. this time its in a nice part of town and its really convenient to get to and they might have a really cool office as they are a company with quite a cool reputation a bit like apple or nintendo but not them, but a little bit like them.
lets hope they are expecting me.
football got cancelled for the 2 week in a row. a couple of the guys went to a concert tonight and so we were short of numbers. i hope this is not the last of football and we get to play next week. i need to play.
today i have mostly been listening to madina lake - house of cards
Wednesday 27 February 2008
2 this week
I have 2 interviews this week. One of them i would quite like as its quite a good company and they are paying quite a lot, but its still based in canary wharf, which is a slight negative. I would take it if they offered it to me though.
The other interview is at a cool electronics, games company in a really nice part of town and but i am not so sure about that place. Am wondering if i get out of investment banks, will i be able to go back in at some later date or will i face the same problems i had breaking into it, like i did i a year ago?. I hope not because i have almost a years experience now and 2 big banks on my CV and that should count for something. the other good thing about the games company is that i think it will be jeans and trainers to work. thats a big plus. its also only a half hour from my house and its a 10min walk from my gym. the money is a little bit more than what i get as well. actually i think i just convinced myself that it might be worth taking if i got offered it.
We shall see how it goes. A decision does not need to be made as i haven’t landed anything yet. Will worry about that if and when i have to.
I had to send a mail to my boss saying i needed to finish up early tomorrow and that i had an “exam” on Friday and asked if i could go out for a couple of hours. He still hasn’t replied. I hope he says i can. Actually he better say i can because i already told the recruiters i am going to the interviews.
Something might happen soon. Ironically work has been ok this week. I actually have something to be getting on with, which is good. Still keeping my mouth shut and trying to get on with my work quietly and efficiently as i can. It can be quite difficult but thats the way it is. I make sure i go out for a walk at lunchtime just to get some air and stretch my legs. Sitting at a desk all day is not good and i am still not used to it. I walk all the way across canary wharf to the supermarket where i buy my sandwich from. Its in a shopping centre and i do a bit of window shopping on the way as well. Saw a lovely watch by made by IWC today that cost £11,250 ($22,000). Just out of my price range.
.....Besides, i don’t need it . my Casio is wicked. :-)
.......spoke to my boss and he said i could duck out early tomorrow and take a long lunch for my "exam" on friday. now, lets see what happens........
Today i have mostly been listening to placebo – sleeping with ghosts.
....soulmates never die.....
look afteryourself V.
The other interview is at a cool electronics, games company in a really nice part of town and but i am not so sure about that place. Am wondering if i get out of investment banks, will i be able to go back in at some later date or will i face the same problems i had breaking into it, like i did i a year ago?. I hope not because i have almost a years experience now and 2 big banks on my CV and that should count for something. the other good thing about the games company is that i think it will be jeans and trainers to work. thats a big plus. its also only a half hour from my house and its a 10min walk from my gym. the money is a little bit more than what i get as well. actually i think i just convinced myself that it might be worth taking if i got offered it.
We shall see how it goes. A decision does not need to be made as i haven’t landed anything yet. Will worry about that if and when i have to.
I had to send a mail to my boss saying i needed to finish up early tomorrow and that i had an “exam” on Friday and asked if i could go out for a couple of hours. He still hasn’t replied. I hope he says i can. Actually he better say i can because i already told the recruiters i am going to the interviews.
Something might happen soon. Ironically work has been ok this week. I actually have something to be getting on with, which is good. Still keeping my mouth shut and trying to get on with my work quietly and efficiently as i can. It can be quite difficult but thats the way it is. I make sure i go out for a walk at lunchtime just to get some air and stretch my legs. Sitting at a desk all day is not good and i am still not used to it. I walk all the way across canary wharf to the supermarket where i buy my sandwich from. Its in a shopping centre and i do a bit of window shopping on the way as well. Saw a lovely watch by made by IWC today that cost £11,250 ($22,000). Just out of my price range.
.....Besides, i don’t need it . my Casio is wicked. :-)
.......spoke to my boss and he said i could duck out early tomorrow and take a long lunch for my "exam" on friday. now, lets see what happens........
Today i have mostly been listening to placebo – sleeping with ghosts.
....soulmates never die.....
look afteryourself V.
Monday 25 February 2008
a long way
have an interview this week. actually feeling ok at work today and to be honest the place wants that wants to see me isn't as prestigious sounding as where i currently am. that said, if the job looks interesting and i can learn something, then it will be a lot better for me.
had a call about a job that i went for a couple of months ago as well. i thought nothing came of it but the recruiter called me up this morning and said when i might be free to interview this week. i said i could do any time because their building is across the road from where i am working. this one is paying the benjamins and will look good on the cv.
am still wating to hear back from a couple of other places but its monday and things look they are moving. was getting a little anxious that nothing was going to happen.
saying all that, i am glad i took the job i am currently at. i am not comfortable and its not what i want to do, and its in a shit part of town, but i know i can get through it even though its a pain in the ass. i do feel like walking away from it sometimes and think i can't take it, but thats only when i am tired or fed up. i know i can get through it and something will come up soon.
was thinking that this time last year i was still at the internet company i had worked at for 8 years, and now it looks like i will have had 3 jobs in a year after. i wouldn't have believed it if you had told me then. we have come a long way..... only a little bit further to go.
today i have mostly been listening to rage against the machine - sleep now in the fire.
V, you have gone a long way in your life in the last year as well. i hope you are well. there are some important weeks coming up for you. take care.
always your friend. Nx
had a call about a job that i went for a couple of months ago as well. i thought nothing came of it but the recruiter called me up this morning and said when i might be free to interview this week. i said i could do any time because their building is across the road from where i am working. this one is paying the benjamins and will look good on the cv.
am still wating to hear back from a couple of other places but its monday and things look they are moving. was getting a little anxious that nothing was going to happen.
saying all that, i am glad i took the job i am currently at. i am not comfortable and its not what i want to do, and its in a shit part of town, but i know i can get through it even though its a pain in the ass. i do feel like walking away from it sometimes and think i can't take it, but thats only when i am tired or fed up. i know i can get through it and something will come up soon.
was thinking that this time last year i was still at the internet company i had worked at for 8 years, and now it looks like i will have had 3 jobs in a year after. i wouldn't have believed it if you had told me then. we have come a long way..... only a little bit further to go.
today i have mostly been listening to rage against the machine - sleep now in the fire.
V, you have gone a long way in your life in the last year as well. i hope you are well. there are some important weeks coming up for you. take care.
always your friend. Nx
Thursday 21 February 2008
a storm is brewing
lots of calls coming though about possible jobs in invstment banks, large internet companies, hedge funds and the like. a lot of these are from a couple of weeks ago but i got calls about them from the agents saying the process was taking time but still moving. we shall see how it goes. it feels like the calm before a storm. i hope so.
work was same as always today. i think i must have spoken no more than 5 sentences today in 8 hours. i did tried talking to my co-walkers but the girl who sits next to me speaks in a barely audible mumble that i can't hear what she is saying. i feel bad constantly saying "pardon", "sorry, what was that?". i bet she gets that a lot. i reckon she must think the whole world is going deaf. we aren't honey, you are talking so quietly only dogs can hear you!.
why is it that people who work in IT and computers are slightly weird?. they either have no style and wear terrible clothes ( i ain't no fashionista, but i can co-ordinate clothes so they match as opposed to wearing striped ties with a check shirt ), or they have poor interpersonal skills (the mumbler), or they have personal hygene issues ( long greasy hair and B.O) or something or other!.
buy some deoderant, plain white or blue shirts, plain dark ties and speak up!. thats all people!. shit you can remember unix commands with 14 switches afterwards and you can't remember these simple things????.
actually that reminds me, i need to get a hair cut this weekend. i haven't had hair this long in years. its been nearly 6 weeks since my last haircut. thats a long time for me. i shall relieve myself of £7 and some hair on saturday.
missed my usual wednesday night gym session this week. been waking up at 5.15am all week and am feeling strung out. if i had gone i would have probably done myself an injury or something because i wouldn't have been concentrating. going to have a killer session on saturday to make up for it. the kind of session where i can barely cycle home or lift my arms without pain. :-)
thats it really. hopefully will have some interviews soon. a couple of the jobs are really quite interesting, so fingers crossed.
today i have mostly been listening to u2 - the unfogettable fire. i don't like u2 anymore. i don't like bono anymore. they used to be good but then they just became generic stadium rock and i think they are boring. not too dissmilar to what happened to red hot chilli peppers, who were a cool funky california rock band and then turned into a band that just made albums that sounded all the same and boring. I also didn't like it when i saw u2 on the apple ipod commercial. doing commercials....what a bunch of complete sell outs.
anyways, the unfogettable fire is from when they hadn't sold out and is their best album in my opinion and this title track is arguably the best song on the album. some songs make you remember summer. this song is a winter or autum song...if you know what i mean.
take care V. i really hope you are taking care of yourself and are well.
your limey friend, nxx
Tuesday 19 February 2008
Put up or shut up
i guess i should either put up or shut up so i started applying for jobs yesterday. sent off quite a few applications and have had a few calls already this morning. as always, i have my phone on silent and vibrate and have found a quiet corridor next to our server room that is a good place to talk to recruiters. like most banks we have a big open plan floor and my managers sit right behind me. you have to be very discreet and so most of the time it just looks like i am going to the server room, like i do a lot of the time anyway.
some of the jobs that have been coming through look really quite interesting and none of them so far have been in canary wharf which is good. i hate this place :-).
we shall see how it goes. its cheered me up a lot, depsite the fact that it is miserable weather outside and i have been waking up at 5.15am this week because i am on the early shift. march starts in less than 2 weeks and spring will be upon us.
am going to see angels and airwaves on april 17th and that is a week before my contract will provisionally end. i hope i have something lined up by the time i go see angels. lets see how it goes.
today i have mostly been listening to janes addiction - jane says. i hear that song and it makes me think of california and sunshine and beaches.
some of the jobs that have been coming through look really quite interesting and none of them so far have been in canary wharf which is good. i hate this place :-).
we shall see how it goes. its cheered me up a lot, depsite the fact that it is miserable weather outside and i have been waking up at 5.15am this week because i am on the early shift. march starts in less than 2 weeks and spring will be upon us.
am going to see angels and airwaves on april 17th and that is a week before my contract will provisionally end. i hope i have something lined up by the time i go see angels. lets see how it goes.
today i have mostly been listening to janes addiction - jane says. i hear that song and it makes me think of california and sunshine and beaches.
Monday 18 February 2008
misery loves company
god!, my job is so dull. if it were warm and sunny i could just about tolerate it, but its cold and mostly cloudy and i feel like i am just hanging in there. i get paid today so hopefully that will give me a little bit of a lift, but that lift will barely last a day or two and then i will be back to being bored out of my skull doing repetitive operational processes that are of no value at all in the long run if you are looking to advance your career.
each bank has their own process and systems and they are all run in their own ways. the theory behind the process is the same but the way its put in practice varies from place to place and it doesn't require any intelligence or skill. you just have to learn who to email or what document or process to follow.
i feel so restricted in what i have to do, and the things i do have to do are very dull and i have absolutely no interest in doing those things. i don't know why these places want microsoft certified people because i could have done this job when i had no experience or exams at all.
maybe i feel fed up because its been a long cold winter and my resistance is low, but i do know i don't want to stay here for long. i look at the people that have been there and there is no spark in them. there is no curiousity or ambition or even any kind of life in them. they live for doing this boring shit and seem content with it.
maybe there is something wrong with me. even when i was working at the internet company i spent 8 years at, i pushed myself to do exams and instead of getting consultants in to do the big projects, i made the effort to do them myself, because it was a good chance to learn. in my 8 years i never stopped pushing and the reason i left was because i could see that there were not going to be many chances to do anything new. this lot just seem content to do whatever it is they do.
lots of people hate their jobs. its not nice to go in and to work everyday and hate your job, but i think its worse if you end up convincing yourself that this is it for you and you surrender to it. a lot of people don't have a choice and they do have to stick with their jobs, but they also keep the light inside them burning. they don't surrender to the misery even though there jobs can make them miserable. i won't do that either. i won't convince myself that i love something i don't.
today i have mostly been listening to the smiths - there is a light that never goes out.
went to the cinema yesterday evening. was standing on the platform waiting for the train and the sun was low in the sky. for a few minutes it looked like summer, but given the fact it was about 4C it wasn't completely convincing.
i saw the film ' there will be blood'. it was one of the best films i have seen in ages. daniel day lewis is easily the best actor around. his performance is so real and believable you forget he is actually just acting. unbelievably good.
each bank has their own process and systems and they are all run in their own ways. the theory behind the process is the same but the way its put in practice varies from place to place and it doesn't require any intelligence or skill. you just have to learn who to email or what document or process to follow.
i feel so restricted in what i have to do, and the things i do have to do are very dull and i have absolutely no interest in doing those things. i don't know why these places want microsoft certified people because i could have done this job when i had no experience or exams at all.
maybe i feel fed up because its been a long cold winter and my resistance is low, but i do know i don't want to stay here for long. i look at the people that have been there and there is no spark in them. there is no curiousity or ambition or even any kind of life in them. they live for doing this boring shit and seem content with it.
maybe there is something wrong with me. even when i was working at the internet company i spent 8 years at, i pushed myself to do exams and instead of getting consultants in to do the big projects, i made the effort to do them myself, because it was a good chance to learn. in my 8 years i never stopped pushing and the reason i left was because i could see that there were not going to be many chances to do anything new. this lot just seem content to do whatever it is they do.
lots of people hate their jobs. its not nice to go in and to work everyday and hate your job, but i think its worse if you end up convincing yourself that this is it for you and you surrender to it. a lot of people don't have a choice and they do have to stick with their jobs, but they also keep the light inside them burning. they don't surrender to the misery even though there jobs can make them miserable. i won't do that either. i won't convince myself that i love something i don't.
today i have mostly been listening to the smiths - there is a light that never goes out.
went to the cinema yesterday evening. was standing on the platform waiting for the train and the sun was low in the sky. for a few minutes it looked like summer, but given the fact it was about 4C it wasn't completely convincing.
i saw the film ' there will be blood'. it was one of the best films i have seen in ages. daniel day lewis is easily the best actor around. his performance is so real and believable you forget he is actually just acting. unbelievably good.
Friday 15 February 2008
another week closer to the end....
I really could just walk away from this job. I could do it......but i won’t till i have something else lined up. That would be the right thing to do. If nothing comes through it means i will stay. I blow it up out of proportion sometimes about how bad it is, but i have had it worse. At my last place i had to sit next to an asshole for a few months and that was painful. Sitting here, where i am now like a mute at my desk is something i can do for a bit longer.
My co-workers are OK. I wonder what they must think. I hope they think i do good work but am quiet. actually that is what they think. I got spoken to by the team leader on Monday after coming in 15 mins late for the 3rd time. Mother fucking trains were screwed up again. He said that he was really happy with the quality of my work and that i was a clear communicator, but that i had to get in on time. Seems fair. I now leave for work about 30 mins earlier every day on the assumption that there will be a problem on the trains and there usually is. Am not really used to coming into this part of town and so just getting myself used to the way the trains operate and the time it takes to get to work.
Did i mention that Canary wharf is a horrible place to work by the way. I think i may have but with each passing day i realise just how shit it really is. No nice bars, no nice restaurants, no nice places to go out to nearby, its just horrible. None of my friends work round here so i can’t even meet any of them for lunch.
I want out of here but it might take a little time. Actually had a couple of calls about a couple of jobs this week. Maybe something will come out of it. If not, i will keep applying but stay here tapping away on my keyboard, doing my work and applying for jobs in the hope of getting out.
Off out tonight in Shoreditch. A friend of a friend is in a band and they are playing tonight and so we are going to go see them. i’ll be the one in the suit and tie amongst the skinny jeans, trainers, tattoo’s and long hair crowd. Don’t think many of the suits in canary wharf are into indie/punk/skater bands. These lot probably listen to crap like amy winehouse type starbucks jazz, or generic indie shite like babyshambles or razorlight or whoever the music press or radio1 is saying is cool at the moment. Think for yourselves people!.
Today i have mostly been listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps.
have a good weekend V and take very good care of yourself.
My co-workers are OK. I wonder what they must think. I hope they think i do good work but am quiet. actually that is what they think. I got spoken to by the team leader on Monday after coming in 15 mins late for the 3rd time. Mother fucking trains were screwed up again. He said that he was really happy with the quality of my work and that i was a clear communicator, but that i had to get in on time. Seems fair. I now leave for work about 30 mins earlier every day on the assumption that there will be a problem on the trains and there usually is. Am not really used to coming into this part of town and so just getting myself used to the way the trains operate and the time it takes to get to work.
Did i mention that Canary wharf is a horrible place to work by the way. I think i may have but with each passing day i realise just how shit it really is. No nice bars, no nice restaurants, no nice places to go out to nearby, its just horrible. None of my friends work round here so i can’t even meet any of them for lunch.
I want out of here but it might take a little time. Actually had a couple of calls about a couple of jobs this week. Maybe something will come out of it. If not, i will keep applying but stay here tapping away on my keyboard, doing my work and applying for jobs in the hope of getting out.
Off out tonight in Shoreditch. A friend of a friend is in a band and they are playing tonight and so we are going to go see them. i’ll be the one in the suit and tie amongst the skinny jeans, trainers, tattoo’s and long hair crowd. Don’t think many of the suits in canary wharf are into indie/punk/skater bands. These lot probably listen to crap like amy winehouse type starbucks jazz, or generic indie shite like babyshambles or razorlight or whoever the music press or radio1 is saying is cool at the moment. Think for yourselves people!.
Today i have mostly been listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps.
have a good weekend V and take very good care of yourself.
Thursday 14 February 2008
february blues
am feeling weird these last few days. i know what it is. its the february blues. the winter is sooo long and 5 months of darkness is making my head go a little funny. so close to the end of it but its hard to keep going and by the time february is upon us, you get periods where you get the blues.
i thought it was maybe because of work and being completely bored out of my head, but truth be told, how bad is it when you get paid a lot of money to do nothing?. shit!, that ain't that bad at all. i think most people would gladly switch with me.
my friend just quit his job because he couldn't take it any longer. he was being overworked and underpaid. i earn 4 times what he earns. i am underworked and overpaid. it wouldn't bother me that much if it were april or may. its just that its february and you get times when your resistance is low and you negativity gets amplified.
i honestly don't have anything to complain about. feeling a bit lonely but shit!, everybody gets that. another one of my friends just split up with her fella. she probably has the blues a million times worse than me. ain't nothing happened to me.
...oh, one thing i can complain about is the part of town i work in. i work in a place called canary wharf which is where a lot of investment banks have their european headquarters. it is the most soulless, boring, shitty place i have ever worked. the city of london is miles better and before that i worked in the west end which was a zillion times better. farringdon/clerkenwell is also good, but canary wharf is completely shit. i absolutely hate it going there.
i just have to make it to march. i know once march starts things will get better and i will snap out of it.
today i have mostly been listening to manic street preachers - motorcycle emptiness.
under neon loneliness
motorcycle emptiness
take care of yourself V
i thought it was maybe because of work and being completely bored out of my head, but truth be told, how bad is it when you get paid a lot of money to do nothing?. shit!, that ain't that bad at all. i think most people would gladly switch with me.
my friend just quit his job because he couldn't take it any longer. he was being overworked and underpaid. i earn 4 times what he earns. i am underworked and overpaid. it wouldn't bother me that much if it were april or may. its just that its february and you get times when your resistance is low and you negativity gets amplified.
i honestly don't have anything to complain about. feeling a bit lonely but shit!, everybody gets that. another one of my friends just split up with her fella. she probably has the blues a million times worse than me. ain't nothing happened to me.
...oh, one thing i can complain about is the part of town i work in. i work in a place called canary wharf which is where a lot of investment banks have their european headquarters. it is the most soulless, boring, shitty place i have ever worked. the city of london is miles better and before that i worked in the west end which was a zillion times better. farringdon/clerkenwell is also good, but canary wharf is completely shit. i absolutely hate it going there.
i just have to make it to march. i know once march starts things will get better and i will snap out of it.
today i have mostly been listening to manic street preachers - motorcycle emptiness.
under neon loneliness
motorcycle emptiness
take care of yourself V
Monday 11 February 2008
3 pounds
this is the start of my 4th week here at the new bank. its gone quite quick which is good. nearly a month down and that means that i am a month closer to moving on. have been applying for jobs that have looked interesting and have also turned down some stuff as well. am being quite choosy but it would be nice to land a job somewhere where i feel i can stay for a while instead of feeling like i am not learning or progressing after a week or two. we live in hope.
actually a recruiter called me on saturday about the most awesome job ever. it sounded amazing and its in a nice part of town and it was paying silly amounts of money. i talked to him today and he said that he had sent my cv but that the company was re-thinking what they wanted to do. it doesn't sound too positive at the moment, but just knowing that there is the possibility of such a role out there is heartening. if this one goes i will just have to keep looking and maybe try and find something similar.
weather was awesome this weekend. i was out on my bike and it was just lovely. we got a little glimpse of summer and i had missed her after so many months.
weighed myself at the gym a couple of weeks ago and found that i had put on 8 pounds. when its winter you become less active and also because you spend a lot of time indoors i just end up eating snacks out of boredom, more than hunger. anyways i weighed myself again on sunday and i have lost 3 pounds in just over a week, after going on a mini diet. another couple weeks of hard training and no blueberry muffins and i will be back down to my fighting weight.
i once went on holiday and got sick and I lost 28 pounds in 3 weeks. losing 3 pounds a week is nothing. :-)...only 5 (maybe 10) more to go.
today i have mostly been listening to the king - song to the siren. i only heard it last week but its turned into one of my most favourite songs ever. my friend from san diego would love it.
hope you are keeping well flower.
below is where i work. this is what my office looks like on a saturday when no one is there. to me it looks the same on a weekday because i don't know anyone or hardly talk to anyone anyways, so i may as well be working on my own in an empty office. just got to get through it i suppose but its quite lonely. memory of my friend and the memory of an infinite summer get me through it. :-)
actually a recruiter called me on saturday about the most awesome job ever. it sounded amazing and its in a nice part of town and it was paying silly amounts of money. i talked to him today and he said that he had sent my cv but that the company was re-thinking what they wanted to do. it doesn't sound too positive at the moment, but just knowing that there is the possibility of such a role out there is heartening. if this one goes i will just have to keep looking and maybe try and find something similar.
weather was awesome this weekend. i was out on my bike and it was just lovely. we got a little glimpse of summer and i had missed her after so many months.
weighed myself at the gym a couple of weeks ago and found that i had put on 8 pounds. when its winter you become less active and also because you spend a lot of time indoors i just end up eating snacks out of boredom, more than hunger. anyways i weighed myself again on sunday and i have lost 3 pounds in just over a week, after going on a mini diet. another couple weeks of hard training and no blueberry muffins and i will be back down to my fighting weight.
i once went on holiday and got sick and I lost 28 pounds in 3 weeks. losing 3 pounds a week is nothing. :-)...only 5 (maybe 10) more to go.
today i have mostly been listening to the king - song to the siren. i only heard it last week but its turned into one of my most favourite songs ever. my friend from san diego would love it.
hope you are keeping well flower.
below is where i work. this is what my office looks like on a saturday when no one is there. to me it looks the same on a weekday because i don't know anyone or hardly talk to anyone anyways, so i may as well be working on my own in an empty office. just got to get through it i suppose but its quite lonely. memory of my friend and the memory of an infinite summer get me through it. :-)
Thursday 7 February 2008
bad trains
the tube (subway) was screwed yesterday so bad. i usually just have to get one train on the jubilee line and its about 10-15 stops and i am at work. one train and it takes about 45minutes.
yesterday it was
jubilee line to finchley road. had to change trains because of power failure.
metropolitan line to baker street
circle line to liverpool steet
central line to bank station
dockland light railway to westferry.
doclands light railway to canary wharf and 2 hours after leaving my house, i was at work.
i was not in the best mood. for all those that complain about traffic, at least you are sitting down in your own little cubicle.:-)
i spent most of that 2 hours on various trains standing up squashed against all the other commuters. i had more space in the mosh pit at a janes addiction concert.
it also took me nearly 2 hours to get home after work as well because the trains were still fucked.
yesterday it was
jubilee line to finchley road. had to change trains because of power failure.
metropolitan line to baker street
circle line to liverpool steet
central line to bank station
dockland light railway to westferry.
doclands light railway to canary wharf and 2 hours after leaving my house, i was at work.
i was not in the best mood. for all those that complain about traffic, at least you are sitting down in your own little cubicle.:-)
i spent most of that 2 hours on various trains standing up squashed against all the other commuters. i had more space in the mosh pit at a janes addiction concert.
it also took me nearly 2 hours to get home after work as well because the trains were still fucked.
had the mother of all workouts at the gym last night and worked out all my angst from my journey to and from work. felt a million times better afterwards. have football tonight as well and that will chill me out even more.
am working this saturday and i worked last saturday. unlike previous jobs, i am getting paid for it, so that makes it better. the benefits of being a contractor. time is money baby!.
a friend of mine has gone travelling round the world for a few months and i went out for drinks with him a couple of days ago. he said he is going to be in california at the end of june and that it would be good to see if we could meet up out there. it sounds very tempting. will see how the next few months pan out. was planning to go to the states late summer anywys, so we will see how it goes.
today i have mostly been listening to PJ Harvery - A place called home - awesome song.
One day...I know...We'll find... A place of hope... Just hold on to me
Tuesday 5 February 2008
rockin in the freeworld
Have been underground because i am changing my broadband provider and so i have no internet connectivity at home, and hence no blogging. Am typing this up at work.
Speaking of work, i am still here. Its week 3 and i feel a little more settled and little more sure that i don’t want to do this for very long. The rest of the team are ok but its only now that you kind of work out everyones personalities. Theres a girl that has been here for about a year and a half. Man , she speaks so quietly its not true. You can barely hear here when she says anything. wake up girl!. Maybe doing this job for that long has sucked the life out of her.
Then there is a guy that has been here about 10 years and he is doing the same stuff as me. Nice guy but i think he is in that zone that you get into after a few years where he is stuck in a rut. I think he also resents me a little bit because he suspects i am earning more money than him. I think i probably am. Its not fair but its the way it is. I learned a little while back that if you don’t like something then just leave. Its hard but i did it. I doubt he will though. Its hard to start again from nothing at a new place.
The team leader is a good guy. He has been here 10 years as well. He has been nice with me since i got here but i just heard a little disagreement he had with one of the other guys in the team and he got quite terse with him and said ”don’t speak to me in that tone”. You could feel the tension in the air.
The other guy, who he said it to has been here about 9 years, and has been helpful with me, but i hear his conversations and he just loves to go on and on and on about process and shit like that. It was during a lecture on process that he was giving the team leader, that the team leader snapped back.
Its nice to be a contractor amongst this. i completely uninvolved and unaware of any politics going on. I just come in, keep my mouth shut and try and do my work. A lot of time there isn’t that much to do so i just surf the web and try and learn something about the latest technologies out there. Whenever my boss walks past he sees articles and pdf’s about storage solutions or virtualisation or windows server and so it looks like i am busy and he doesn’t say anything to me.
Am off out tonight in Shoreditch with my friends for our regular monthly drinks.
Its still cold and grey in London town. 5 months of this and i really am bored with it. I dream of blue skies and warm sunshine. You can’t believe how hard it is to get out of bed in the morning when its like this every day for months.
Today i have mostly been listening to Neil Young – rockin’ in the free world.
....thats one more kid that will never go to school, never get to fall in love, never get to be cool....
Speaking of work, i am still here. Its week 3 and i feel a little more settled and little more sure that i don’t want to do this for very long. The rest of the team are ok but its only now that you kind of work out everyones personalities. Theres a girl that has been here for about a year and a half. Man , she speaks so quietly its not true. You can barely hear here when she says anything. wake up girl!. Maybe doing this job for that long has sucked the life out of her.
Then there is a guy that has been here about 10 years and he is doing the same stuff as me. Nice guy but i think he is in that zone that you get into after a few years where he is stuck in a rut. I think he also resents me a little bit because he suspects i am earning more money than him. I think i probably am. Its not fair but its the way it is. I learned a little while back that if you don’t like something then just leave. Its hard but i did it. I doubt he will though. Its hard to start again from nothing at a new place.
The team leader is a good guy. He has been here 10 years as well. He has been nice with me since i got here but i just heard a little disagreement he had with one of the other guys in the team and he got quite terse with him and said ”don’t speak to me in that tone”. You could feel the tension in the air.
The other guy, who he said it to has been here about 9 years, and has been helpful with me, but i hear his conversations and he just loves to go on and on and on about process and shit like that. It was during a lecture on process that he was giving the team leader, that the team leader snapped back.
Its nice to be a contractor amongst this. i completely uninvolved and unaware of any politics going on. I just come in, keep my mouth shut and try and do my work. A lot of time there isn’t that much to do so i just surf the web and try and learn something about the latest technologies out there. Whenever my boss walks past he sees articles and pdf’s about storage solutions or virtualisation or windows server and so it looks like i am busy and he doesn’t say anything to me.
Am off out tonight in Shoreditch with my friends for our regular monthly drinks.
Its still cold and grey in London town. 5 months of this and i really am bored with it. I dream of blue skies and warm sunshine. You can’t believe how hard it is to get out of bed in the morning when its like this every day for months.
Today i have mostly been listening to Neil Young – rockin’ in the free world.
....thats one more kid that will never go to school, never get to fall in love, never get to be cool....
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