plane ticket is all booked now. i fly to new york on august 6th and i fly back from los angeles on august 25th. will wait a week or so till i book the nine inch nails tickets in knoxville, tenessee. am just wating to find out if i need to buy 2 or 3. car hire will get booked next week and so might a place to stay in las vegas. have got the route pretty much set out and i just need to run it past my friend who is coming as well. am very much looking forward to it.
got a call from my agent and he asked me if i knew of anyone that would be interested in doing my job after i left. i don't. am surprised he is asking me for recommendations. i would have thought there would be hundreds of potentially good candidates. clearly not quite that many. also overheard my team leader taking to his boss and he suggested bring back the girl that they didn't renew a few months back,(the really quiet girl that appeared to be in a conscious semi-comatose state). his boss poo poo'd the idea and said she was as mad as a fish. made me laugh when he said that.
keep smiling V. :-)
today i have mostly been listening to the subways - alright. great song.
Monday 30 June 2008
Wednesday 25 June 2008
listen don't look
mostly when you get a contract job you get it through an agency and you get an agent assigned to you. they don't really do much apart call occassionally when your contract is about to get renewed or not renewed. basically they just worry about money and getting paid.
today my agent called me to tell me that he had been told by the HR department in the bank that they had already got a renewal authorised for another 3 months and if i wanted to do it. er....no.....i have made plans both personal and professional, so no, i won't reconsider and stay. road trip or not, i would still leave i told him. i need to do something that stretches me a bit more and don't get me wrong, i am not working just for the love of it, i want to be paid the benjamins as well.
haven't booked my ticket to the states yet but will hopefully soon. not sure how to end the trip. i might just go home when i get to los angeles, or i could go to san francisco with my friend who has to finish his journey there because he has a work thing to go to.
i have been to san francisco before and i will have been on the road for 3 weeks by then, and san francisco is also quite expensive so i might pass. i suspect i will be running low on cash by then as well. i might try and go to San Diego instead and see why V, likes it so much, but still leave from LA, as its only a couple of hours drive or on the train from there. we shall see. as it stands it looks like i will be in phoenix, arizona on the 18th of august, but i will confirm that once i know for sure.
thats it really. work is ..........work. a bit trying at times buts it alright. its a means to an end, and the end is not far away now.
take care my friend.
today i have mostly been listening to, does it offend you, yeah? - epic last song. some people might like the video but i think it distracts from what is a very good song. have a listen, don't watch. scroll the windows down so you can't see it or something. i also don't like the name of the band either. i think these fellas are trying too hard to be cool. heard of a band recently called tokyo police club. now that is a cool name for a band.
today my agent called me to tell me that he had been told by the HR department in the bank that they had already got a renewal authorised for another 3 months and if i wanted to do it. er....no.....i have made plans both personal and professional, so no, i won't reconsider and stay. road trip or not, i would still leave i told him. i need to do something that stretches me a bit more and don't get me wrong, i am not working just for the love of it, i want to be paid the benjamins as well.
haven't booked my ticket to the states yet but will hopefully soon. not sure how to end the trip. i might just go home when i get to los angeles, or i could go to san francisco with my friend who has to finish his journey there because he has a work thing to go to.
i have been to san francisco before and i will have been on the road for 3 weeks by then, and san francisco is also quite expensive so i might pass. i suspect i will be running low on cash by then as well. i might try and go to San Diego instead and see why V, likes it so much, but still leave from LA, as its only a couple of hours drive or on the train from there. we shall see. as it stands it looks like i will be in phoenix, arizona on the 18th of august, but i will confirm that once i know for sure.
thats it really. work is ..........work. a bit trying at times buts it alright. its a means to an end, and the end is not far away now.
take care my friend.
today i have mostly been listening to, does it offend you, yeah? - epic last song. some people might like the video but i think it distracts from what is a very good song. have a listen, don't watch. scroll the windows down so you can't see it or something. i also don't like the name of the band either. i think these fellas are trying too hard to be cool. heard of a band recently called tokyo police club. now that is a cool name for a band.
Tuesday 24 June 2008
thats me done here
i had a meeting with my boss yesterday and told him i would not be renewing my contract at the end of its current term and that i was going to go travelling. he was good about it and said that they just got approval to extend my contract for another 3 months but he appreciated me telling him in advance. that was it really. so much less hassle than leaving a permanent job.
thats one less thing to do now. all thats left is to book my ticket and get my journey planned out, but that should be a nice fun thing to do. am really looking forward to it and really looking forward to seeing you, V.
today i have mostly been listening to tom petty - free fallin'
its a long day living in Reseda
there's a freeway running through the yard
thats one less thing to do now. all thats left is to book my ticket and get my journey planned out, but that should be a nice fun thing to do. am really looking forward to it and really looking forward to seeing you, V.
today i have mostly been listening to tom petty - free fallin'
its a long day living in Reseda
there's a freeway running through the yard
Friday 20 June 2008
how shall i put it
How shall i put it.......the reason for leaving that is. There are a couple of ways to go, one more honest than the other.
Maybe i could say, hi, just wanted to let you know that i won’t be renewing my contract when its up at the end of july, mainly because i find the work mind numbingly boring and uninspiring, and learning about all your convoluted procedures is something i have no interest in whatsoever...as you may have noticed by my constant questions asking who i have to mail for that particular task, or how and to which team i have to log that ticket that takes 30 minutes to fill out, but is for a task that takes 5 minutes to do.
Oh by the way, a network service like DNS is not ‘computer hardware’ despite what your ticketing system says. You might want to change that. one more thing, you might want to consider running just one task allocation system instead of the three you currently have, to which any task can be randomly assigned to. You could probably save money, become more efficient and it would just be common sense, not that common sense is something banks like to encourage. Half the people here would be out of a job if we asked people to use common sense.
You see, i only worked at this place so i could get some experience and exposure to technology, which has been pretty little when you add it all up, and also to get the name on my resume. For some bizarre reason, investment banks really only like to hire people that have worked in other banks, despite the fact that there is nothing special about working here, and i really do mean nothing special at all. anyways i write on my resume i have done 6 months and thats more than enough for me. onwards and upwards.
Where am i going?, you may ask......well i am going to explore America for a few weeks which will enrich my soul and spark my imagination, and after that i plan to get another contract somewhere and a contract that unlike this job, not only pays well, but is also interesting. Thanks for all that money you paid me by the way. Its the most money for the least amount of work i have ever had. If i was unambitious and concerned with only getting grand titles like vice-president or senior vice-president, i would stay and carry on collecting your fat pay cheques. fortunately there is something inside me that pushes me forward and drives me and i think i can do better than this. good luck with everything. i hope it all goes well, whatever it is. Thank you and goodnight.
Or, i could just say, i am not going to renew my contract because i am going travelling. Thanks for all your help. Good luck. Byeeee.
I think i will go with the last one. Yeah, thats probably the way to go.
Have an absolutely wonderful weekend back home in southern California, V.
Today i have mostly been listening to George Michael – waiting (reprise)
The road that i have walked upon...
It filled my pockets and emptied out my soul...
Maybe i could say, hi, just wanted to let you know that i won’t be renewing my contract when its up at the end of july, mainly because i find the work mind numbingly boring and uninspiring, and learning about all your convoluted procedures is something i have no interest in whatsoever...as you may have noticed by my constant questions asking who i have to mail for that particular task, or how and to which team i have to log that ticket that takes 30 minutes to fill out, but is for a task that takes 5 minutes to do.
Oh by the way, a network service like DNS is not ‘computer hardware’ despite what your ticketing system says. You might want to change that. one more thing, you might want to consider running just one task allocation system instead of the three you currently have, to which any task can be randomly assigned to. You could probably save money, become more efficient and it would just be common sense, not that common sense is something banks like to encourage. Half the people here would be out of a job if we asked people to use common sense.
You see, i only worked at this place so i could get some experience and exposure to technology, which has been pretty little when you add it all up, and also to get the name on my resume. For some bizarre reason, investment banks really only like to hire people that have worked in other banks, despite the fact that there is nothing special about working here, and i really do mean nothing special at all. anyways i write on my resume i have done 6 months and thats more than enough for me. onwards and upwards.
Where am i going?, you may ask......well i am going to explore America for a few weeks which will enrich my soul and spark my imagination, and after that i plan to get another contract somewhere and a contract that unlike this job, not only pays well, but is also interesting. Thanks for all that money you paid me by the way. Its the most money for the least amount of work i have ever had. If i was unambitious and concerned with only getting grand titles like vice-president or senior vice-president, i would stay and carry on collecting your fat pay cheques. fortunately there is something inside me that pushes me forward and drives me and i think i can do better than this. good luck with everything. i hope it all goes well, whatever it is. Thank you and goodnight.
Or, i could just say, i am not going to renew my contract because i am going travelling. Thanks for all your help. Good luck. Byeeee.
I think i will go with the last one. Yeah, thats probably the way to go.
Have an absolutely wonderful weekend back home in southern California, V.
Today i have mostly been listening to George Michael – waiting (reprise)
The road that i have walked upon...
It filled my pockets and emptied out my soul...
Tuesday 17 June 2008
the big comedown
Had an interview today and it went ok. My recent run of interviews has not been successful and this one might not be either. We shall see how it goes. I did tell the recruiter that i had booked a holiday in august for 3 weeks...even though its not actually booked yet. I just really badly need a break and to be away from work and computers for a little while. i really hope they don’t make me an offer.
I have started revising for my next exam which is in a couple of weeks but its heavy going and i am struggling to absorb the information. Its another symptom of not having any time off. Its a bit like when you go to the gym too much and over train. After a while it doesn’t make any difference and in fact you end up feeling weaker than if you took a break between sessions and let your muscles recover. I need to do that but for my head and soul.
Last night i was mostly listening to nine inch nails – the big comedown (live). the pic above that is my title banner is from when i saw nine inch nails last year.
take care flower. miss you.
I have started revising for my next exam which is in a couple of weeks but its heavy going and i am struggling to absorb the information. Its another symptom of not having any time off. Its a bit like when you go to the gym too much and over train. After a while it doesn’t make any difference and in fact you end up feeling weaker than if you took a break between sessions and let your muscles recover. I need to do that but for my head and soul.
Last night i was mostly listening to nine inch nails – the big comedown (live). the pic above that is my title banner is from when i saw nine inch nails last year.
take care flower. miss you.
Friday 13 June 2008
knoxville
Had been minding my own business planning my road trip. well i say planning, it was more like day dreaming about it and various things we could do or see. Worked out that its probably better to see nine inch nails in Knoxville, Tenessee on august 12 at the beginning of the trip. That way i figured it would give us more time on the western side of the US, which i think might be more interesting....no offence intended to people in Oklahoma Arkansas and Texas, which i think we will just blast through as fast as we can.
....and then today i got a call about a job. They want to call me in for an interview. Shit!. The irony of the situation is not lost on me. A couple of years ago i couldn’t get an interview at all when i was so desperate to leave my company at that time, and now i am getting interviews when i would rather not have any. It show that progress has been made though and thats a good thing.
I genuinely would prefer to not land a new job now, but as a contractor i can’t afford to turn down too many opportunities when they come up. We shall see what happens. Have given myself the deadline of the first week of july to get my plane ticket booked. Before then, i am available and after then i will still go for jobs if they come up but will just have to tell them i will be lost in America in August and thats that.
Otherwise, the perfect outcome is that i leave my job in the first week of august, drive across America for 3 weeks, and then come back and get a really good job in september, paying lots of money and doing interesting work. That would be almost perfect.
Been studying for my exam thats in a few weeks and one of the guys here asked me if i was leaving. Didn’t answer the question but they know that i have been doing exams completely unrelated to my current job and i suppose i can pretend like i am not letting on that i am looking to leave but ultimately my actions make it pretty obvious. oh well, not bothered.
At least its Friday today and thats another week down. I will be leaving my job in 8 weeks if they agree to having me stay for an extra 2 weeks to cover one of the guys who is on holiday. Otherwise i will be off in 6 weeks. The end is very near. I know i just have to get through it and i will.
Take care V. Its been a couple of weeks since i heard from you. i know you are very busy these days and i hope you have been taking care of yourself and keeping well. i always worry about you and how you are getting on.
keep smiling. :-)
Nxx
Today i have mostly been listening to The Who – Behind Blue eyes. its a great song but i bet it sounds even better when you are listening to it driving through the desert late at night.
....and then today i got a call about a job. They want to call me in for an interview. Shit!. The irony of the situation is not lost on me. A couple of years ago i couldn’t get an interview at all when i was so desperate to leave my company at that time, and now i am getting interviews when i would rather not have any. It show that progress has been made though and thats a good thing.
I genuinely would prefer to not land a new job now, but as a contractor i can’t afford to turn down too many opportunities when they come up. We shall see what happens. Have given myself the deadline of the first week of july to get my plane ticket booked. Before then, i am available and after then i will still go for jobs if they come up but will just have to tell them i will be lost in America in August and thats that.
Otherwise, the perfect outcome is that i leave my job in the first week of august, drive across America for 3 weeks, and then come back and get a really good job in september, paying lots of money and doing interesting work. That would be almost perfect.
Been studying for my exam thats in a few weeks and one of the guys here asked me if i was leaving. Didn’t answer the question but they know that i have been doing exams completely unrelated to my current job and i suppose i can pretend like i am not letting on that i am looking to leave but ultimately my actions make it pretty obvious. oh well, not bothered.
At least its Friday today and thats another week down. I will be leaving my job in 8 weeks if they agree to having me stay for an extra 2 weeks to cover one of the guys who is on holiday. Otherwise i will be off in 6 weeks. The end is very near. I know i just have to get through it and i will.
Take care V. Its been a couple of weeks since i heard from you. i know you are very busy these days and i hope you have been taking care of yourself and keeping well. i always worry about you and how you are getting on.
keep smiling. :-)
Nxx
Today i have mostly been listening to The Who – Behind Blue eyes. its a great song but i bet it sounds even better when you are listening to it driving through the desert late at night.
Monday 9 June 2008
not normal
Not normal. What i have done is not normal. A HR manager at a place that was interviewing me for the 2nd time said that me, leaving a job of 8 years to go contracting in an investment bank is not normal. She went on and on about it asking why i left. Professional ambition and wanting a new experience and to work with new people and technology did not seem to be a believable reason to her. Maybe i should have said the other reason, which is because it pays a lot more, and maybe she would have believed that, but money was not the only reason i left and you know what?....i don’t think she would have believed that either.
I still study for exams and its something i have always done. I am interested in technology. I don’t think they understood that someone might be genuinely interested in something and do it because they want to learn stuff, and all this from a company that is supposed to be a technically innovative company. Oh dear.
I told the recruitment agent i got a bad vibe and i thought the fact that professional ambition is something they don’t understand does not cast them as an organisation in a positive light. The recruitment agent said they may have been worried that i might leave if i got a better offer in 6 months. Why wouldn’t i leave if i got a better offer?. Why would i turn down something else thats better?. The agent was a little stumped to explain that.
I also told the agent i had something else on the go. The agent then kept pressing me who i was interviewing with. I kept saying it was another bank but she kept asking who. Why you need know about what i got going on and who else i am going to see?. Its nothing to do with you so why do you keep asking?. After a bit i said i was not going to tell her because it was none of her business and that shut her up.
Am getting annoyed with dealing with idiot recruitment agents. Have booked myself an exam in about 3 weeks to get my mind off it. feel much better already.
i am glad i am not normal. i am glad that i left that internet company after 8 years and i have never regretted leaving. its been an adventure since i left and although there have been ups and downs, its all been experience and that is making me better and more confident and i think i have picked up some knowledge on the way. you have had a couple of jobs since i have known you V, and it looks like we are rare in wanting to get something better and having ambition and actually doing something about it. i think we are the exceptions. we are not normal. :-)
My road trip to the states is looking like a more and more like a viable option.
Today i have mostly been listening to phantom planet – California.
We've been on the run
Driving in the sun
Looking out for number 1
California here we come
Take care California girl. keep smiling
UPDATE: no more job applications from now till i get back from my road trip. if i get calls i will see what they are, but i am not going to go actively looking for something. talked to a friend of mine and he is up for the road trip and we are just getting the dates set. i will be available to start a new contract when i get back, but i need to go away and forget about these idiots who think ambition is something to be suspiscous of and who look at people stretching themselves to learn and have new experiences as frivilous risk takers and who are instead looking for people who just collect pay cheques and stay in a job because its comfortable and easy. i was that guy, but not no more...he's gone.
I still study for exams and its something i have always done. I am interested in technology. I don’t think they understood that someone might be genuinely interested in something and do it because they want to learn stuff, and all this from a company that is supposed to be a technically innovative company. Oh dear.
I told the recruitment agent i got a bad vibe and i thought the fact that professional ambition is something they don’t understand does not cast them as an organisation in a positive light. The recruitment agent said they may have been worried that i might leave if i got a better offer in 6 months. Why wouldn’t i leave if i got a better offer?. Why would i turn down something else thats better?. The agent was a little stumped to explain that.
I also told the agent i had something else on the go. The agent then kept pressing me who i was interviewing with. I kept saying it was another bank but she kept asking who. Why you need know about what i got going on and who else i am going to see?. Its nothing to do with you so why do you keep asking?. After a bit i said i was not going to tell her because it was none of her business and that shut her up.
Am getting annoyed with dealing with idiot recruitment agents. Have booked myself an exam in about 3 weeks to get my mind off it. feel much better already.
i am glad i am not normal. i am glad that i left that internet company after 8 years and i have never regretted leaving. its been an adventure since i left and although there have been ups and downs, its all been experience and that is making me better and more confident and i think i have picked up some knowledge on the way. you have had a couple of jobs since i have known you V, and it looks like we are rare in wanting to get something better and having ambition and actually doing something about it. i think we are the exceptions. we are not normal. :-)
My road trip to the states is looking like a more and more like a viable option.
Today i have mostly been listening to phantom planet – California.
We've been on the run
Driving in the sun
Looking out for number 1
California here we come
Take care California girl. keep smiling
UPDATE: no more job applications from now till i get back from my road trip. if i get calls i will see what they are, but i am not going to go actively looking for something. talked to a friend of mine and he is up for the road trip and we are just getting the dates set. i will be available to start a new contract when i get back, but i need to go away and forget about these idiots who think ambition is something to be suspiscous of and who look at people stretching themselves to learn and have new experiences as frivilous risk takers and who are instead looking for people who just collect pay cheques and stay in a job because its comfortable and easy. i was that guy, but not no more...he's gone.
Friday 6 June 2008
graceland
No enthusiasm to follow boring mindless procedures. Its just sooooo dull and after 6 months of it i have pretty much done about as much as i can stand of it. i miss having to use my brain and occasionally doing something interesting. I think its getting close to the time to move on. i was actually thinking of pussying out and staying a bit longer and maybe renewing my contract for one more 3 month period, but there would be no point and i would just be screwing myself over. I need to be brave and make that jump into the unknown. I need to take that risk. The alternative is staying here and carry on doing what i am doing and that is just lame. Its not like i would be giving up a job i love doing.
I did all those exams and all that study and i have to try and use some of it in a job somewhere. its wasted in this place. I know why the other guys don’t do exams or study and its because there is simply no need to in this role. Why learn about stuff you are not going to use, and in the case of these people here never ever will use, because they are never going to leave. I just find the tasks in this job trivial and i can’t keep myself interested in it or do it with any enthusiasm. Maybe the guys here were motivated and enthusiastic to learn things at one point but i just don’t see it in them and i get the feeling they are content with this mediocre operational work. Thats fine for them but i am not and hopefully will never be.
I do know one of the reasons why the other 2 guys in the department stay here. Its the flexible working hours and the fact that they can work from home or take days off at very short notice whenever it suits them. yesterday i was the only person in our department in the office. I think they will be pissed when i go and they have to cover all the shifts they don’t want to do or when they have to come to the office and not ‘work from home’ at short notice. at the moment i do the late shift every single Friday. I don’t mind because its a 6pm finish and compared to most other banks and what i am used to, thats not a late shift at all. I won’t be around for much longer to do that any more for them.
I was wavering on the idea of leaving over the last week or so about staying a little longer, but actually writing it all down has made things a lot clearer and this isn’t about the next few weeks or 3 months but has implications for years ahead and my career. I would be wasting time if i stayed. I need to experience something different in a new environment.
Still not heard back from the 2 interviews that went well. everything takes sooo long. Inefficiencies of large organisations which is something i am becoming much more aware of.
....All the while there is the thought of a road trip in the back of my mind....
Today i have mostly been listening to paul simon – graceland.
The Mississippi delta was shining like a national guitar
I did all those exams and all that study and i have to try and use some of it in a job somewhere. its wasted in this place. I know why the other guys don’t do exams or study and its because there is simply no need to in this role. Why learn about stuff you are not going to use, and in the case of these people here never ever will use, because they are never going to leave. I just find the tasks in this job trivial and i can’t keep myself interested in it or do it with any enthusiasm. Maybe the guys here were motivated and enthusiastic to learn things at one point but i just don’t see it in them and i get the feeling they are content with this mediocre operational work. Thats fine for them but i am not and hopefully will never be.
I do know one of the reasons why the other 2 guys in the department stay here. Its the flexible working hours and the fact that they can work from home or take days off at very short notice whenever it suits them. yesterday i was the only person in our department in the office. I think they will be pissed when i go and they have to cover all the shifts they don’t want to do or when they have to come to the office and not ‘work from home’ at short notice. at the moment i do the late shift every single Friday. I don’t mind because its a 6pm finish and compared to most other banks and what i am used to, thats not a late shift at all. I won’t be around for much longer to do that any more for them.
I was wavering on the idea of leaving over the last week or so about staying a little longer, but actually writing it all down has made things a lot clearer and this isn’t about the next few weeks or 3 months but has implications for years ahead and my career. I would be wasting time if i stayed. I need to experience something different in a new environment.
Still not heard back from the 2 interviews that went well. everything takes sooo long. Inefficiencies of large organisations which is something i am becoming much more aware of.
....All the while there is the thought of a road trip in the back of my mind....
Today i have mostly been listening to paul simon – graceland.
The Mississippi delta was shining like a national guitar
have always wanted to go to graceland. maybe one day......soon.
Take care V. Keep your spirits up and keep smiling flower.
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