Oh no!!!!!!!
was just chatting to the guys and my boss on our desk we were talking about our routes and how we long it takes to get to work from where we live. i said that i was hoping to have a good journey from where ever i end up next year after my time here comes at an end, and the guy sitting next to me said "you could well still be here"....
"Eh?!" i replied. my boss then spoke up and said that they were currently negotiating about their staffing levels and things like that for next year and that it was still a possibility that i could be back here.
Oh no!!!!!!.
i had my heart set on a new start next year and although i could carry on here and the money is good i really want to get out and was really looking forward to january and interviewing for jobs and doing exams and not having any distractions.
I really really hope they don't renew my contract and need me for anything. i don't have much of a choice if they do decided they need me. my company will keep me here. i was thinking i could resign easily and quickly if i was between projects but my company is going to be pissed if i am onsite working somewhere and i resign. all they will see is dollar signs walking out the door and will hold me to my full notice period, whereas if i was between projects they would let me go quick because i would be costing them money and not earning them any.
....we shall see how it goes, but as is usual with these things i suspect i will find out at the last minute what is happening for sure.
still looking forward to my course next week. even more motivation to get into it now.
today i have mostly been listening to Athlete - Tokyo.
Thursday 29 November 2007
Wednesday 28 November 2007
strange
feeling strange today.....in a good way. optimism and hopes are always high bit i feel particularly excited at the moment. i guess its a combination of things. i am on my course next week and i am really looking forward to it. i know its geeky and kind of sad but its what i am in to and its going to be great learning about new things next week. i will look to take the exam that goes with the course at the end of december or in january.
i am also going to take my windows 2008 upgrade exam around the same time. seeing as work is really quiet at the moment i have been reading up and revising for it this week at work. its good because instead of studying in the evenings after work, i am studying during work which means i can relax in the evening. its how life should be. :-)
i am going to see interpol play this friday evening as well, which should be really good. i hope they play leif erikson and obstacle1 and obstacle2. those are my favourite songs and will be the highlights for me.
i ordered my new bike and i will test ride it next friday and if its all good i will buy it. my legs have lost strength in the last few months since i stopped riding. i can feel it when i play football and at the gym. time to climb that mountain and get back into it especially as we have almost broken the back of this winter. there is still a couple of months of potentially crappy weather but i want to be ready once we get a couple of good weekends.
i got a couple of calls recently about a couple of jobs. nothing definite and no interviews but it gives you a little confidence when you get put forward for roles that i simply would not have been in the running for, had i not grit my teeth and stuck it out in my current job. nothing has come out of it yet but just knowing that i might be in the running is good for ones confidence. also knowing that i am out of my current job on december 29th is good for my mood. i am bored and i have done my time and its time to move on.
thats it really. i still miss my friend. not a day goes past when she doesn't pop into my head at some point whether if its out when i am with my friends or on thursday nights after i get back from football, or when i am on the train or at work. its not making me sad. actaully i like it when she pops into my head and it keeps me company and makes me smile. thats a good thing.
today i have mostly been listening to interpol - leif erikson.
take care wherever you are and whatever you may be doing and always keep smiling babycakes. :-)
i am also going to take my windows 2008 upgrade exam around the same time. seeing as work is really quiet at the moment i have been reading up and revising for it this week at work. its good because instead of studying in the evenings after work, i am studying during work which means i can relax in the evening. its how life should be. :-)
i am going to see interpol play this friday evening as well, which should be really good. i hope they play leif erikson and obstacle1 and obstacle2. those are my favourite songs and will be the highlights for me.
i ordered my new bike and i will test ride it next friday and if its all good i will buy it. my legs have lost strength in the last few months since i stopped riding. i can feel it when i play football and at the gym. time to climb that mountain and get back into it especially as we have almost broken the back of this winter. there is still a couple of months of potentially crappy weather but i want to be ready once we get a couple of good weekends.
i got a couple of calls recently about a couple of jobs. nothing definite and no interviews but it gives you a little confidence when you get put forward for roles that i simply would not have been in the running for, had i not grit my teeth and stuck it out in my current job. nothing has come out of it yet but just knowing that i might be in the running is good for ones confidence. also knowing that i am out of my current job on december 29th is good for my mood. i am bored and i have done my time and its time to move on.
thats it really. i still miss my friend. not a day goes past when she doesn't pop into my head at some point whether if its out when i am with my friends or on thursday nights after i get back from football, or when i am on the train or at work. its not making me sad. actaully i like it when she pops into my head and it keeps me company and makes me smile. thats a good thing.
today i have mostly been listening to interpol - leif erikson.
take care wherever you are and whatever you may be doing and always keep smiling babycakes. :-)
Tuesday 27 November 2007
knobhead
in every department there is a prick. unfortunately for me i moved desks a couple of weeks ago and now i sit next to him. nobody else gives me any shit at all. they are all nice guys who are easy to get along with. even my boss is relaxed and laid back and always talks to me in the right way.
the guy that sits next to me just constantly whines about how i do stuff and whether the proper procedure was followed. its not like there is documentation to follow for every scenario, that we all have to follow. we kind of just go along with how we think we should do it and no one ever complains except for this guy.
i think he seems to think that he is the manager of the team, he is not, and that he needs to teach and guide us and show us how things function here. a typical example of someone that has been in a company too long, is institutionalised and knows deep down that they are shit at what they do and knows that they can't survive anywhere else, and so puts people down to try and make himself look good and important.
i am cool with it because i am off next week on my course and my contract is up at the end of the year, my last day being december 29th and then its into the great unknown in 2008. i am curious at how things will pan out in the new year. i can take all his shit and just smile back at him. he can't get to me or upset me because i know that i did my time here and that i am moving on now and that was my intention from the start. i can work with other people and get on with them proffessionally and i don't ever feel the need to put people down in public to make myself look better. i do put people down behind their backs, but only if they are arseholes. :-).
if you have an arsehole at your company and they give you shit all day, don't let them get to you, because you know you are better than them, and deep down they know it to. thats why they do it.
the guy that sits next to me just constantly whines about how i do stuff and whether the proper procedure was followed. its not like there is documentation to follow for every scenario, that we all have to follow. we kind of just go along with how we think we should do it and no one ever complains except for this guy.
i think he seems to think that he is the manager of the team, he is not, and that he needs to teach and guide us and show us how things function here. a typical example of someone that has been in a company too long, is institutionalised and knows deep down that they are shit at what they do and knows that they can't survive anywhere else, and so puts people down to try and make himself look good and important.
i am cool with it because i am off next week on my course and my contract is up at the end of the year, my last day being december 29th and then its into the great unknown in 2008. i am curious at how things will pan out in the new year. i can take all his shit and just smile back at him. he can't get to me or upset me because i know that i did my time here and that i am moving on now and that was my intention from the start. i can work with other people and get on with them proffessionally and i don't ever feel the need to put people down in public to make myself look better. i do put people down behind their backs, but only if they are arseholes. :-).
if you have an arsehole at your company and they give you shit all day, don't let them get to you, because you know you are better than them, and deep down they know it to. thats why they do it.
Monday 19 November 2007
confirmed
i have been waiting for confirmation about when my contract was going to be up at the bank and i got it today. december 28th is my last day. when i started in the summer they told me it was till the end of the year and this takes me all the way to the end. i had wanted to finish sometime in mid december but its cool and its nice knowing for sure. i am on call 24-7 on my last week, which is over christmas but i am not bothered at all about that. i will earn a few quid that week in overtime and its my last week and so its no bother at all for me.
i am off work this week just using up some holiday and i have a week off in a couple of weeks as well. i am going to go on a VMWare course that week. my company won't pay even though i asked them about a thousand times, so i decided to pay for it myself. its a couple of thousand pounds but hopefully i should get it all back in not too much time when i get something new in the new year.
as it stands 2008 is going to be a completely clean slate for me. i have no idea what will happen regarding work or anything else. have been thinking of lots of things recently and i am not sure if i want to even stay in london any longer. who knows where we will end up. as always i am filled with hope and positivity and i hope to get something good in the new year, especially now that i have investment banking experience and being certified in vmware as well as microsoft and possibly citrix as well, although citrix is soooo dull.
weather in london is just like you would imagine. grey, damp and dark. don't matter. we will get through these next few weeks and then we will go from the darkness into the light. its going to be wicked.
thats about it really. i might go to my friends birthday party at his flat this saturday. am still deciding whether i should go because a lot of my other friends can't make it and he lives all the way out in east london.
i am going to see interpol in a couple of weeks as well, at alexandra palace, which should be good. last time i went there was when i got a free ticket to see morrissey, who was not very good. he only played 3 smiths songs and the smiths are miles better than his solo stuff. i also got tickets to see editors again in march. i wonder where i will be working in march when i go see them????.
today i have mostly been listening to don henley - boys of summer. i need it when its weather like this.
take care flower.
i am off work this week just using up some holiday and i have a week off in a couple of weeks as well. i am going to go on a VMWare course that week. my company won't pay even though i asked them about a thousand times, so i decided to pay for it myself. its a couple of thousand pounds but hopefully i should get it all back in not too much time when i get something new in the new year.
as it stands 2008 is going to be a completely clean slate for me. i have no idea what will happen regarding work or anything else. have been thinking of lots of things recently and i am not sure if i want to even stay in london any longer. who knows where we will end up. as always i am filled with hope and positivity and i hope to get something good in the new year, especially now that i have investment banking experience and being certified in vmware as well as microsoft and possibly citrix as well, although citrix is soooo dull.
weather in london is just like you would imagine. grey, damp and dark. don't matter. we will get through these next few weeks and then we will go from the darkness into the light. its going to be wicked.
thats about it really. i might go to my friends birthday party at his flat this saturday. am still deciding whether i should go because a lot of my other friends can't make it and he lives all the way out in east london.
i am going to see interpol in a couple of weeks as well, at alexandra palace, which should be good. last time i went there was when i got a free ticket to see morrissey, who was not very good. he only played 3 smiths songs and the smiths are miles better than his solo stuff. i also got tickets to see editors again in march. i wonder where i will be working in march when i go see them????.
today i have mostly been listening to don henley - boys of summer. i need it when its weather like this.
take care flower.
Thursday 15 November 2007
tired
i am so tired....so so tired.
i have been on-call this week and also on earlies. its bad enough waking up at 5am every morning but its even worse when you get paged at 1 am two nights in a row and have to get up and try and fix something.
when my alarm has gone off the last 2 mornings its felt like i just went to sleep. i get up and shower and get changed and go to work and actually i feel fine for the first couple of hours, but then the tiredness hits you and you feel really strung out for most of the remainder of the day. its my last night of being on call tonight and i also have a week off from work next week, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.
in other news that place that interviewed me 3 times, decided not to offer me the job. maybe they felt embarressed about having to call me in for a 4th interview...or maybe they really didn't want me. don't matter as i was not really feeling good about the whole thing anyway. onwards and upwards.
thats it really. today i have mostly been listening to bob seger. blue collar, working mans, music from detroit not too dissimilar to springsteen in many ways, singing about the most important things in life, cars and girls. thats not me being sarcastic either, they are the most important things in life.
take care
i have been on-call this week and also on earlies. its bad enough waking up at 5am every morning but its even worse when you get paged at 1 am two nights in a row and have to get up and try and fix something.
when my alarm has gone off the last 2 mornings its felt like i just went to sleep. i get up and shower and get changed and go to work and actually i feel fine for the first couple of hours, but then the tiredness hits you and you feel really strung out for most of the remainder of the day. its my last night of being on call tonight and i also have a week off from work next week, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.
in other news that place that interviewed me 3 times, decided not to offer me the job. maybe they felt embarressed about having to call me in for a 4th interview...or maybe they really didn't want me. don't matter as i was not really feeling good about the whole thing anyway. onwards and upwards.
thats it really. today i have mostly been listening to bob seger. blue collar, working mans, music from detroit not too dissimilar to springsteen in many ways, singing about the most important things in life, cars and girls. thats not me being sarcastic either, they are the most important things in life.
take care
Friday 9 November 2007
graveyard shift
been on the graveyard shift all week and finishing at 7pm. our floor has about 300 people on it and by 7pm there are only about 10 people around, and its very quiet and dull.
next week i get the extra shock of not only being on-call 24-7 but also having to start work at 7am, which means waking up at 5.15AM. it sucks but the only consellation is that i have a week off after that and no work. will be staying home as opposed to going away anywhere. will probably study a bit in preperation of my course and will also go to the gym a lot and try and catch up with a couple of friends.
went out last night with some mates last night and i really needed it. haven't been out for quite a while. been living like a hermit and going through a routine the last few weeks of work, home, work, gym, home...... anyways we were all out and then my friends girlfriend showed up out of the blue and came over and kept telling me and my friends to go downstairs and dance with her. none of us wanted to but she kept going on and on and on and it got a bit annoying after a while. it also appeared to us that she was coked up off her head which might explain her bahviour. she is a pleasant enough girl but i can only take her in small doses because she is kind of intense.
might buy a new bike next week. will also hear if i get called in for a 4th interview or not. to be honest i kind of almost hope that they turn me down, strange as it may sound. i just feel like i want to start from fresh in the new year instead of now and its the only place i applied for and i am curious what i could get if i really started applying to a lot of places like i did at the beginning of this year.
we shall see how it goes. feels like i am just blowing around in the wind at the moment and could go in any direction at any time. probably not a good thing if it lasts a long time, but it might be ok for a few weeks. i have no idea what i will be doing in the new year. i almost wish i had something/someone to hold me down and provide a foundation or base..........if you know what i mean???. i don't know.
wish me luck for my on-call. someone from one of the other deaprtments screwed up last week and the bank lost some money when one of the systems got wiped out. we got told that management aren't happy and that they are itching to "see some blood", next time something else goes wrong. everyone is being ultra careful.
have a pleasant weekend.
without you, everything falls apart.....
without you, its not as much fun to pick up the pieces......
Nine Inch Nails - Perfect Drug
next week i get the extra shock of not only being on-call 24-7 but also having to start work at 7am, which means waking up at 5.15AM. it sucks but the only consellation is that i have a week off after that and no work. will be staying home as opposed to going away anywhere. will probably study a bit in preperation of my course and will also go to the gym a lot and try and catch up with a couple of friends.
went out last night with some mates last night and i really needed it. haven't been out for quite a while. been living like a hermit and going through a routine the last few weeks of work, home, work, gym, home...... anyways we were all out and then my friends girlfriend showed up out of the blue and came over and kept telling me and my friends to go downstairs and dance with her. none of us wanted to but she kept going on and on and on and it got a bit annoying after a while. it also appeared to us that she was coked up off her head which might explain her bahviour. she is a pleasant enough girl but i can only take her in small doses because she is kind of intense.
might buy a new bike next week. will also hear if i get called in for a 4th interview or not. to be honest i kind of almost hope that they turn me down, strange as it may sound. i just feel like i want to start from fresh in the new year instead of now and its the only place i applied for and i am curious what i could get if i really started applying to a lot of places like i did at the beginning of this year.
we shall see how it goes. feels like i am just blowing around in the wind at the moment and could go in any direction at any time. probably not a good thing if it lasts a long time, but it might be ok for a few weeks. i have no idea what i will be doing in the new year. i almost wish i had something/someone to hold me down and provide a foundation or base..........if you know what i mean???. i don't know.
wish me luck for my on-call. someone from one of the other deaprtments screwed up last week and the bank lost some money when one of the systems got wiped out. we got told that management aren't happy and that they are itching to "see some blood", next time something else goes wrong. everyone is being ultra careful.
have a pleasant weekend.
without you, everything falls apart.....
without you, its not as much fun to pick up the pieces......
Nine Inch Nails - Perfect Drug
Thursday 8 November 2007
round 4?
had a 3rd interview at a hedge fund today. it was via video conference to the states, but the guy that was supposed to interview me couldn't make it so he got someone else to fill in for him. she kind of got told at the last minute so didn't really have much prepared so we just chatted for about 25 mins and that was it. she then said that her boss would still like to interview me and that they would call me in for a 4th interview. i was a little annoyed. 4 interviews for the same job?. i have been through this shit sooo many times. i am not even sure exactly how much money they are paying but it had better be a lot!. :-)
the guy i sit next to was a little pissed off because i told him that i needed to take a long lunch and that i had cleared it with the boss, who has been away from his desk most of the day. he just looked back at me with a dirty look and said ok. he was annoyed because he likes to go to the gym in the middle of the afternoon for an hour or two and this would mean he would have to stay and man the phones and systems, as there are only 3 of us scheduled here this afternoon. anyways, i just got back and guess what?. he has gone to the gym anyway and left one guy here on his own. its not busy but its still not the right thing to do. very poor showing indeed.
anyways, with regards to the whole employment situation i feel positive and relaxed, despite 4 interviews for one job. i have a course in a couple of weeks time and i also have one week holiday coming up as well. my contract ends here in december and then we are out of here and thats a good thing. i did what i had to do and now its time to move on and so something i want to do instead of 'have' to do. 2008 is going to be amazing......i hope/think.
london is grey today. am going out in shoreditch with a bunch of friends tonight.
today i have mostly been listening to david grey - babylon.
take care.
the guy i sit next to was a little pissed off because i told him that i needed to take a long lunch and that i had cleared it with the boss, who has been away from his desk most of the day. he just looked back at me with a dirty look and said ok. he was annoyed because he likes to go to the gym in the middle of the afternoon for an hour or two and this would mean he would have to stay and man the phones and systems, as there are only 3 of us scheduled here this afternoon. anyways, i just got back and guess what?. he has gone to the gym anyway and left one guy here on his own. its not busy but its still not the right thing to do. very poor showing indeed.
anyways, with regards to the whole employment situation i feel positive and relaxed, despite 4 interviews for one job. i have a course in a couple of weeks time and i also have one week holiday coming up as well. my contract ends here in december and then we are out of here and thats a good thing. i did what i had to do and now its time to move on and so something i want to do instead of 'have' to do. 2008 is going to be amazing......i hope/think.
london is grey today. am going out in shoreditch with a bunch of friends tonight.
today i have mostly been listening to david grey - babylon.
take care.
Monday 5 November 2007
Resurrection
I had a blog for a couple of years called clintstallone. As it documented my trials and tribulations at my last job, i ended that blog when i got a new job, as thats what it was about and it was the end of a chapter for me.
anyways, its been about 6 months now and i am back to possibly start writing about shit thats going on now. a quick update to get you all upto speed is that i am working at an investment bank in the city of london. i work in the the technology division and its what i really wanted to do for years. after being there for a couple of weeks i found out that it was actually not like i thought, and it was really dull, but i don't regret coming to this place.
i am glad i have done and its been a test of willpower for me to carry on with it. when i got there i almost felt like quitting after a couple of weeks but i grit my teeth and told myself it was just till the end of the year and it would make my resume look good if i stuck it out, and thats what i have been doing for the last few months....gritting my teeth, that is.
so we are now coming to the end of the year and this project is nearly at an end for me. i am thinking of moving on to something new in the new year. as always my hopes are high and actually justifiably so this time as i applied to one place and they called me in for interviews immediately. before having an investment bank on the resume i was applying for hundred of jobs and not getting anything back. it was such a struggle before.
anyways, this is my first post on this new blog. it is my intention to post again but you never know how these blogs turn out. you start off with good intentions of writing regularly and then letting it go. i have done that before...so we shall see how this pans out but i will try.
oh, the title of this blog is infinite summer as thats what i dream of. london gets so dark and cold and grey at this time of year that the thought of summer is what gets me through these days. i am living in the wrong city. i should be somewhere they have an infinite summer.
today i have mostly been listening angels and airwaves - lifeline. its from their new album I Empire, and its the best song on the album. its wicked.
take care
anyways, its been about 6 months now and i am back to possibly start writing about shit thats going on now. a quick update to get you all upto speed is that i am working at an investment bank in the city of london. i work in the the technology division and its what i really wanted to do for years. after being there for a couple of weeks i found out that it was actually not like i thought, and it was really dull, but i don't regret coming to this place.
i am glad i have done and its been a test of willpower for me to carry on with it. when i got there i almost felt like quitting after a couple of weeks but i grit my teeth and told myself it was just till the end of the year and it would make my resume look good if i stuck it out, and thats what i have been doing for the last few months....gritting my teeth, that is.
so we are now coming to the end of the year and this project is nearly at an end for me. i am thinking of moving on to something new in the new year. as always my hopes are high and actually justifiably so this time as i applied to one place and they called me in for interviews immediately. before having an investment bank on the resume i was applying for hundred of jobs and not getting anything back. it was such a struggle before.
anyways, this is my first post on this new blog. it is my intention to post again but you never know how these blogs turn out. you start off with good intentions of writing regularly and then letting it go. i have done that before...so we shall see how this pans out but i will try.
oh, the title of this blog is infinite summer as thats what i dream of. london gets so dark and cold and grey at this time of year that the thought of summer is what gets me through these days. i am living in the wrong city. i should be somewhere they have an infinite summer.
today i have mostly been listening angels and airwaves - lifeline. its from their new album I Empire, and its the best song on the album. its wicked.
take care
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