10 weeks

I have started looking around with a little more vigour this week. Am really making an effort and you never know, something might come of it soon. As always i am very hopeful.

Am going to run out of exams that i want to do soon, and the reality of my job will set in then. Its too easy to come in and pick up pay cheques and have an easy life. My job is all i have at the moment and so i feel i have to have a good one and one that makes me better and improves me. i don’t want to waste my time and just settle for what i have now. its not a money thing either. I am not chasing every dollar and pound like my life depends on it because it doesn’t and i am lucky to be in the position i am in. Don’t get me wrong, i would hope to get more money in my next job, but i also want to do some good work because i am interested in this stuff. That has always been a constant for me and that feeling has not diminished, and besides, my job is so dull and just not challenging at all.
i am unable to do this for any significant amount of time otherwise i would go crazy and i don't want to end up like the guys here that are scared of change. i used to be like that, but i don't feel like that any more.

Anyways i still have the idea to not renew my contract when its up for renewal again. That means my last day will be july 22nd and i hope to have landed something before then, and if not, i am planning to go away somewhere for a week or two.

That leaves me 10 more weeks here. It sounds like a long time, but i can get through it. i will let them know my plans in about 6 weeks which is a month before my contract ends. if i wanted to, i could just run my contract down and leave suddenly but i don't want to do that. i don't want to put them in a spot or leave them short staffed, and it will give them a month to find someone to replace me. that sounds fair to me.

Indications are that they see me here for quite a while longer. Am getting introduced to more and more people and i am visiting one of their other offices next week. I will just play along and i think i am doing a good job of concealing the fact that i feel this is just temporary for me.

i think they will be surprised when i tell them i am going. i will have to come up with a decent story as to why i won't be renewing. can't tell them the truth " its a boring easy job and i don't see what i am doing as any type of career and i was only here to get a name on my resume". i need a reference from these guys so will just say, i am going away travelling for a little while, or my old company have asked me to come back for a project. actually, the going back to do a short term project with my old company, was the excuse i used last time when i left my last job and it worked well and allowed me to leave on good terms. i think i might go with that one if i can't think of anything better. :-)

Its beautiful weather today. Not as hot as Arizona but hot for London.
All the best for this weekend and next week V. i'll be thinking about you.

Today i have mostly been listening to cold war kids – we used to vacation.