what not to wear

we then drove on towards vegas. it was my turn to drive and we hit the road around 1.30PM from phoenix. since being in phoenix my friend had added another annoying habit on top of the food obsession and the drinking of 2 litres of water every 3 hours. he now complained constantly about how hot it was. i can understand how 100 degree heat for months on end could become a problem and an annoyance, i genuinely do, but for people from london who have to endure months of darkness and life under slate grey skies, its a little annoying to complain about the heat after literally a couple of hours in phoenix.

because of the heat he had also started wearing shorts and a t-shirt. not proper knee length khaki/brown/grey/black shorts with big pockets that look a little stylish in a young, hip and trendy way, but baby blue adidas running shorts that were a little too short and high up on the thigh and a little too tight. he then topped this off with a bright red t-shirt that again was a little too fitted and tight, and which would have accentuated a muscular physique if there was one underneath it, but instead it accentuated his rotund belly. he then finished off this ensemble with shitty trainers weren't even trainers but were a type of shoe hikers would wear, or people that were going to climb mountains would use, and he wore these in the absense of socks which is one of my pet hates. no socks dude, thats just wrong and there is no excuse for that. if you saw him you would be wondering why a fat guy in light blue shorts that were too small, was wearing brown loafers with no socks on. it looked fucking funny and i regret not taking a picture in hindsight.

initially i felt really embaressed because i thought people would think we were a couple of queers what with his too short, shorts in baby blue, but actually there are a couple of gay guys at my gym and the gay folk have a little more style than that and i trusted that people would think, those fellas ain't queer because that fella can't pick out clothes and colours and to save his life!.

i figured he was fine to dress like a hobo whilst we were spending most of our time in a car in arizona, but i hoped he would dress a little better when we got to LA where all the cool cats hung out on melrose and in hollywood. i would be wrong, but i just didn't know it at the time.
i am no fashionista but i do make a little effort and don't just throw anything on in the dark. in the 110 degree heat of arizona i wore my full length, low waist, straight cut, dark blue jeans with a dark blue and white fitted polo shirt and a pair of nike air max 95's, which go with anything. collars and long trousers always. it would need to go beyond 120 degrees for me to consider short trousers. we are from england and we are made of stern stuff.