Sunday 18 August 2013

book of james

one of the reasons i dont really like to go to the pub with people i am working with is because i always have to hold my tongue and cant say what i think. its sad but true. i dont think people like me are supposed to be working in investment banks and hedge funds because i just look at the people i work with and my brain works in a completely different way to most of the people there. 

i dont love shopping, i dont drive a flashy car, i dont post on facebook every detail of my life, i dont think i am better than other people, i have completely different priorities for the money i earn and what i spend it on. 

here is an example of why i dont get into conversations with these people. one of the guys has started seeing a new girl. his divorce only came through a couple of weeks ago but already he is smitten with this new girl. he bought himself a new car for 37,000 about a year ago. 5 months ago he bought her a new car for 17,000 and last week he bought another car for 22,000 for her because she did not like the first car her bought her and she wanted something better. he borrowed the money for all these cars, as he has little savings and despite being very well paid, he lives hand to mouth. he is also thinking of moving in with the girl. he asked me what i thought of the the situation. i did not really say anything but just said, yes, you need to think about it and hopefully it goes well. nothing basically. 

what i really would have said was, you bought a girl you have been going out with for a few months, 2 cars for £39,000 and she was previously declared bankrupt so could not get finance or the money to borrow it herself. are you mental??!!!. you are thinking now of moving in with her and your divorce only came through a couple of weeks ago. she has been married twice before. are you fucking mental??!!!. its been months. stop and think rationally about this. there is no need to commit to this so soon and in such a big way....but rationality and thinking of the future is not something you really think about, because if you did, you would not have pissed up the wall the thick end of a million pounds over the last 10 years, and you are left ringing around banks to borrow the money for these cars because you have little money saved up. where did all the money go?. well it went on £4,000 TV, £76,000 on 3 cars just this year, £1,600/month rent for a waterfront apartment in canary wharf, £4,000 on 2 laptops this year, £2,000 on 2 pairs of headphones and god only knows what else. 

maybe its because my dad worked for the post office for 37 years and we did not have luxuries and lots of money to throw around when i was growing up, but i just find profligate spending the habits of people a bit strange. maybe thats how they were raised or maybe they need to buy lots of things to make themselves feel better. also, you are going out with a girl for a few months and you bought her 2 cars?. i dont know her and i dont want to call her a gold digger or say anything against her, but firstly she should not even be asking for that shit, and secondly, alarm bells should be ringing in his head when it even comes up in a conversation. the sex must be phenomenal because he appears either distracted or unable to think rationally. 

i could be wrong but i dont think there is going to be a happy ending. even if she can give up the spending and cars, he is just as spend happy and he needs to earn a lot more than 100,000 a year to make ends meet. in a time of high unemployment and millions of people struggling it does demonstrate what a bubble the world of high finance is. its not connected to the real world, and i have met hundred of people in this industry and i can count on my fingers how many 'normal' and sensible and humble people i have met. 

this is why i tend not to go the pub with them, because it means i have to listen to talk about the price of audi's, or whats the best new TV out, or golf or holidays in tuscany or skiiing in st moritz. i listen quietly and have nothing to say and just thank the stars i am not worried about getting finance on my 3rd car this year, or paying off my wedding loan after my divorce (the finance on your marriage ceremony was longer than your marriage), or buying a girl an audi a3 and she drives it for 5 months and then tells me she wants an A5 now.  

most of western society is based on rampant consumerism and money. people have no worth in themselves. its how much money they earn and what car they have and how big their house is, that we are taught to aspire to. that is the measure of success and happiness. in the world of finance this is magnified even more and these are the driving forces by nearly everyone in the industry, and i might be a hypocrite for working in it, but the thing is, i am only faking it. it is a place where an average joe who is nothing special (me) can earn an inflated salary. the deal is you are then supposed to worship the industry and people in it and the values it promotes. i don't. i see it for the illusion that it is. if i had more conviction i would refuse to work in hedge funds and banks but i saw my dad spend 37 years working as a postman and i saw how hard it was. i dont think i can do what he did. he was twice the man i am and will ever be, but i also saw he earned his money to take care of his family and not trivial trinkets that were to be worn to show off to others. i will carry on with his philosophy and i have no interest in it, even though i am supposed to, as they have let me in to their circle. 

everyone has problems and things that are important to them. mine are not cars or tv's or begging money from banks despite earning a six figure salary. mine are more important that that and actually thats something to be thankful for. 


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