another lovely spring sunday in london and as last week, there were millions of cunts driving around. actually, not only driving but cycling as well. i was cycling around regents park and you get a lot of lycra wearing racers going round as well. those fellas can shift. anyways a middle aged couple of barclays hire bikes pulled out of a side road with out looking. they looked like tourists. anyways, i was not going that fast and slowed down because i anticipated they were going to be do something stupid like that. behind me was a serious cyclist and there was no way he was going to stop in time, and luckily he managed to swerve round them as he shouted for them to look out. those skinny tyred racers are not very maneuverable at speed and he did well. if he had hit them it would have been entirely their fault and it would have been carnage. that old fella would have been hit side on and it would not have been pretty.
what the fuck is it with tourists who want to cycle around london. i dont know what fucking city you come from but they look european and that shit might be ok in masstricht or amsterdam or brugge but this is london and you need to keep your wits about you otherwise you are going to get hurt. i would never dream of hiring a bike and riding around manhattan. i have seen the traffic and the broken roads and the speeding cabs and i would rather take the subway than trying to dodge people, cars and vans on streets i have not ridden before. why would i risk my life on holiday doing that. i am i going to cycle in tokyo?, fuck no!!.
anyways i also had a car overtake me and get really close. he was driving a bmw 5 series gt. a fucking gt version. the regular saloon is a nice but conservatively designed car. this cunt, said to himself, "i want a beemer 5 but i dont want the conservative looking one, i think i would rather drop 40 grand on the shittier looking one. no mate, it does not look like an aston rapide, or a ferrari FF or 456 in that its a swooping sporty 4 seater. it looks shit and you are a cunt.
yesterday another driver just took a left turn with out indicating. i had anticipated he was going to do it by the fact that he was driving a vauxhall minaro. who the fuck buys a 6 liter vauxhall in london?. a cunt, thats who!. i already had my fingers on the brakes as i came up behind him and actually thought to myself "6 litre vauxhall, this guy is obviously a cunt, i better get ready to take evasive action in the event he lives up to the crude stereotype i have labelled him with, and he did.
buy an BMW M3 or M5, or an AMG 55 or 63 if you want large displacement. dont buy a big engine in a fucking vauxhall.
but the world champion cunt car is the Audi A3 (or s3). they are almost exclusively driven by cunts. usually men who clearly have a little bit of money and want to buy something german. they are young and non-graduate and yet have a few quid so i suspect they might work in IT or a junior position counting paperclips in a bank in the city or they are estate agents. they could have done the sensible thing and bought a golf r32, but no, they wanted a bit more badge and so got the audi even though its less of a car. they think audi is a prestige marque not realising the fact that it is undermined by the fact they actually bought one. they then proceed to drive it with their fucking boyfriends in the passenger seat, both of them wearing superdry polo shirts with the collars turned up and oakley shades resting on their soon to be balding heads. its a catalogue on uncool. superdry is not cool. wearing oakley shades when you are not a proffessional bike rider is not cool and turing up your collars is not cool. guess what?, your car is not cool either.
the politest drivers on the road. that will be mercedes benz and particularly those that drive the top f the range S class. i had a guy give me so much room the other day as he was overtaking me that he swerved over into the opposite lane and nearly crashed head on into oncoming traffic. he would rather have killed himself and another car driver than risk getting too close to me. i salute you sir.
what the fuck is it with tourists who want to cycle around london. i dont know what fucking city you come from but they look european and that shit might be ok in masstricht or amsterdam or brugge but this is london and you need to keep your wits about you otherwise you are going to get hurt. i would never dream of hiring a bike and riding around manhattan. i have seen the traffic and the broken roads and the speeding cabs and i would rather take the subway than trying to dodge people, cars and vans on streets i have not ridden before. why would i risk my life on holiday doing that. i am i going to cycle in tokyo?, fuck no!!.
anyways i also had a car overtake me and get really close. he was driving a bmw 5 series gt. a fucking gt version. the regular saloon is a nice but conservatively designed car. this cunt, said to himself, "i want a beemer 5 but i dont want the conservative looking one, i think i would rather drop 40 grand on the shittier looking one. no mate, it does not look like an aston rapide, or a ferrari FF or 456 in that its a swooping sporty 4 seater. it looks shit and you are a cunt.
yesterday another driver just took a left turn with out indicating. i had anticipated he was going to do it by the fact that he was driving a vauxhall minaro. who the fuck buys a 6 liter vauxhall in london?. a cunt, thats who!. i already had my fingers on the brakes as i came up behind him and actually thought to myself "6 litre vauxhall, this guy is obviously a cunt, i better get ready to take evasive action in the event he lives up to the crude stereotype i have labelled him with, and he did.
buy an BMW M3 or M5, or an AMG 55 or 63 if you want large displacement. dont buy a big engine in a fucking vauxhall.
but the world champion cunt car is the Audi A3 (or s3). they are almost exclusively driven by cunts. usually men who clearly have a little bit of money and want to buy something german. they are young and non-graduate and yet have a few quid so i suspect they might work in IT or a junior position counting paperclips in a bank in the city or they are estate agents. they could have done the sensible thing and bought a golf r32, but no, they wanted a bit more badge and so got the audi even though its less of a car. they think audi is a prestige marque not realising the fact that it is undermined by the fact they actually bought one. they then proceed to drive it with their fucking boyfriends in the passenger seat, both of them wearing superdry polo shirts with the collars turned up and oakley shades resting on their soon to be balding heads. its a catalogue on uncool. superdry is not cool. wearing oakley shades when you are not a proffessional bike rider is not cool and turing up your collars is not cool. guess what?, your car is not cool either.
the politest drivers on the road. that will be mercedes benz and particularly those that drive the top f the range S class. i had a guy give me so much room the other day as he was overtaking me that he swerved over into the opposite lane and nearly crashed head on into oncoming traffic. he would rather have killed himself and another car driver than risk getting too close to me. i salute you sir.
this is wicked.
No comments:
Post a Comment