we all have 2 monitors for our PCs and this morning when i fired up my PC i noticed that one of my monitors had died. its like it knew it was my last day and it had been working all my time here but today just gave in and expired. i suspect it works fine and it just can't be bothered to work, which is a bit like me today.
anyways, this is my last day and it feels like your last day tends to feel like when you leave. the place feels unfamiliar as if i have left already and i have done very little work today, though thats nothing new because i have done very little work in my 6 months here. its true and i can admit it.
saying that it has been a worthwhile exercise being here because i did get the name of a very big bank on my cv and because i had so much free time, i did loads of exams that i would never have done had i been in a 'proper' job doing 'work'. i also got paid more money than i have in any previous job as well, but there is not even the slightest twinge of regret at walking away from the money they offered for me to stay. i would be trapped then and i don't want to be like a lot of the people here. i know they envy me and that fact that i am walking away in search of a brighter day.
the last 6 months have been an exercise in will power as well. with the exception of the last month i didn't speak too much at work, but thats mainly because the guys tend not to talk to each other that much between themselves. also when i was at the internet company my timekeeping and punctuality was not the best but in both my jobs at banks i make a point of never coming in late and never taking a long lunch. my punctuality has improved and is impeccable now. i have also not taken a single day off either. just had it in my head to get through this stint and i didn't want to relax or slack off in that way, at any point.
anyways i was just looking on a few sites and there are some good jobs paying decent money, but as usual they want people who can start in the next week or two. hopefully there will be some similar roles when i get back. i think august can be a bit quiet for hiring because lots of people in banks tend to take their summer holidays. amongst the 8 or 10 guys sitting around me, all of them will be taking a week or two off in the next month. this place will be dead in august.
take care cali-girl. wish me luck and pray i get a good contract next, and if its not good at least let it be easy money again. :-)
today i have mostly been listening to U2 - gone. this is from when i thought they were still a half decent band. they went downhill after this and just turned into a bland boring corporate machine churing out average stadium songs. i saw them on this tour at wembley stadium and the stage show was incredible, but they didn't seem to have much enthusiasm. just as well they had the big screens as the band wasn't really compulsive viewing.
You get to feel so guilty, got so much for so little...
Then you find that feeling just won't go away...
No comments:
Post a Comment