job spec

I see lots of adverts for working in investment banks. they all ask for Windows 2000/2003, MCSE, Citrix, DNS, DHCP, WINS, Active Directory, VMware, NetBackup, EMC/NetApp SAN, etc etc......

The skill set they should be asking for is:
ability to use MS Outlook
able to maintain trivial conversations in an email thread to at least 10 replies.
must be able to CC at least 10 people in every email.
ability to talk about process and procedure for at least 30 minutes at a time.
able to reply to a Yes or No question with a 10 minute monolgue and avoid answering the question you originally asked.
ability to avoid taking responsibility for anything.
ability to palm responsibility onto others when given to you.
able to talk build up your achievements and experiences whilst putting down anyone who has not worked in an investment bank for any considerable time.
ability to jump on the most trivial helpdesk calls (account unlocking, change password, add groups) and avoid doing anything that might mean you have to get up from your desk.
must not have any interest or knowledge of any technology that is run outside the department or the bank ie: server virtualisation, desktop virtualisation, application virtualisation, webservers, networking, applications, databases, messaging, mobile devices.
if you can do all these things then you too can be a success in the cutting edge, high powerered world of an international investment bank.

....its been one of those days.... :-)

please please please don't renew my contract and say i have to stay.

today i have mostly been listening to placebo - days before you came.