clubfoot

i applied to 2 more jobs today. i can't take the pressure off and need to keep pushing otherwise i will just get comfortable and lazy and before you know it i will have been here years and years, and thats not what we want.

i still haven't heard anything back from the other bank that might have been interested last week. i guess its a no go. its a shame but thats just how the cookie crumbles sometimes. getting a new job is a bit like the weather. we realise its going to be cloudy and dull most of the time, but when the sun does eventually come out i know it will feel great. we live in hope and have faith.

i need to get out of my job. i really am struggling to concentrate and have started making a few fuck ups. even the simplest things are not going into my brain. i am turning into a zombie and the combination of a long dark cold winter and having 5 days off in the last year and the fact i want to leave is all adding to make the situation worse. i want out of here and soon. everyone else seems so content and focused on what they do. i think i am the only one with my head elsewhere and in search of something different.

in other news, there is nothing going on. dragged my sorry ass to the gym on wednesday night. i need that mid week session to carry me from one weekend to the next, otherwise its too big a gap. the gym was crazy busy. am hoping its just the new year crowd that slowly dissipates as time goes by, and by the time we get into may or june, the place is empty again. i hope so.

weather has gotten cold again although thankfully its not rained this week. it is getting colder though which is shit, considering we are in march and this is supposed to be spring.

today i have mostly been listening to kasabian - clubfoot. there are points in time where an artist or group is completely in touch with everything that is going and their work just gets better and more interesting and relevant. it is usually a period of time lasting 2 or 3 albums but sometimes a bit longer for the talented and lucky ones. you could say it happened to stevie wonder in the 70s (so i am told) when he released the albums innervision, fullfillingness first finale, music of mind and talking book, or maybe u2 when they had a period of time when they released the albums war, unforgettable fire, joshua tree and achtung baby. springsteen from 1975 to 1982 or prince from dirty mind to sign of the times. i could go on.

anyways, in england kasabian are appear to be in the midst of one of these phases that artists have when they are in the sweet spot. i am not a proper fan and haven't seen them play, but they just appear to be on the crest of a wave and they do seem to be progressing very well as a group. they are on their 3rd album now and they are still maintaining and upward trajectory and making some interesting music. its easy to run out of ideas when you make it big and your life consists of meetings with accountants and interior designers and celebrity girlfriends and partys. just ask U2, but kasabian seem to be doing well till now. will it last. who the fuck knows. just enjoy this song from when they fist made it on the scene.

have a lovely weekend.