february blues

am feeling weird these last few days. i know what it is. its the february blues. the winter is sooo long and 5 months of darkness is making my head go a little funny. so close to the end of it but its hard to keep going and by the time february is upon us, you get periods where you get the blues.

i thought it was maybe because of work and being completely bored out of my head, but truth be told, how bad is it when you get paid a lot of money to do nothing?. shit!, that ain't that bad at all. i think most people would gladly switch with me.

my friend just quit his job because he couldn't take it any longer. he was being overworked and underpaid. i earn 4 times what he earns. i am underworked and overpaid. it wouldn't bother me that much if it were april or may. its just that its february and you get times when your resistance is low and you negativity gets amplified.

i honestly don't have anything to complain about. feeling a bit lonely but shit!, everybody gets that. another one of my friends just split up with her fella. she probably has the blues a million times worse than me. ain't nothing happened to me.

...oh, one thing i can complain about is the part of town i work in. i work in a place called canary wharf which is where a lot of investment banks have their european headquarters. it is the most soulless, boring, shitty place i have ever worked. the city of london is miles better and before that i worked in the west end which was a zillion times better. farringdon/clerkenwell is also good, but canary wharf is completely shit. i absolutely hate it going there.

i just have to make it to march. i know once march starts things will get better and i will snap out of it.

today i have mostly been listening to manic street preachers - motorcycle emptiness.
under neon loneliness
motorcycle emptiness

take care of yourself V