dust

Something happened today with regards to people being laid off and departments in the bank being reorganised. All afternoon there have been whispered conversations around various people desks. I have no idea what they are talking about and i know none of the people affected. In fact i don’t know that many people here at all, so its no good asking me whats going on because i don’t know shit. The impression that i get is that there are some not very happy people here at the moment. Am glad i am a contractor and politics are not something i get involved in any more.

it kind of reminded me when of when i was a permanent employee at the internet company i worked at for years. i was always bitching about people getting promoted or laid off or reoraganisations at the company. i always used to get stressed out about shit like that. it just feels great to be uninvolved with that anymore. i can see the person i used to be, in some of the people at the bank, and i am glad i made the jump and made a change. its not so much that i feel i have changed and become a different person since i left. i think its more that i have changed and found myself since i left. you kind of lose yourself in some environments and forget who you are and what it is you want to do, and you get caught up with everything and lose your identity.

it just feels like its coming back to me now and my fate doesn't rest in the hands of anyone else but me. yes, i could get laid off and lose my job, but so what!?. i don't care about that and i am not worried about that. i know what i know and i feel quite confident in myself. miles more confident than if i had stayed at the same place for years and years and where i wasn't happy. i am not that happy or content with my current job but i know its only temporary and i definitley won't be there for many more months. its that fact that makes me happy. its like that saying that happiness isn't a destination but the journey.

anyways........

......Had the last of my windows 2008 server exams today and passed it. Have booked my citrix exam for next Friday and then i think i might take a week off from the studying. This one might be a bit more trickier for me as i don’t use citrix much anymore at this bank so i might delay it if i am not feeling confident. Am feeling quite good about getting todays exam knocked out and 3 exams in 3 weeks was tough but i did it.

Thats about it really. Had a top night out in Shoreditch with some friends on Wednesday night. I am working tomorrow morning and have to start at 8 but hopefully i will be done by noon. Its going to be a beautiful sunny day tomorrow so i want to get home quick and then out on my bike in the sunshine.

Keep smiling V

Today i have mostly been listening to my new favourite band, royworld – dust . they release their first album next month and i think its going to be wicked if there are songs on it as good as this, and their previous singles.